Lately
by Chibi Fenrir
Summary: She was scarred for life in a horrible accident and the least he could do was visit... Shinji & Hikari Project
1. Chapter 1

"It's... a nice day." Shinji said as he walked through the park. For a moment, the thought of doing this more often didn't seem so bad. The thought vanished just as fast as it came. He already knew he didn't have the time to do stuff like this.

Most of the time, he would busy himself with chores or something of that nature in order to keep himself from having free time to think but today could have been an exception. For once, he just wanted to sit on one of the benches and not be bothered.

Sadly, he didn't have the time to do that and, even worse, the day that he admired didn't mirrorhis thoughts or feelings at all.

A storm of emotions raged inside him and trying to think about his situation only made it worse. To be more exact, it was like his feelings were battling for control whereas only one could come out on top and that is where everything became clouded.

This was something he couldn't run away from so he wouldn't even try and it was obvious that no good would come from trying to ignore what happened but despite that, he still had mixed feelings.

To tell the truth, he was glad that she still referred to him as a friend and liked spending time with him but it was also a small part of him that wanted her to reject and hate him for doing that to her.

Before he even realized it, he had arrived at the girl's house.

Shinji was about to cautiously knocked on the door with soft steady knocks hoping that he wouldn't alarm her if she was in the process of doing something but decided the doorbell would be better to use. When he reached over to ring the doorbell, his arm accidentally brushed against the door and, to his surprise, creaked open.

"Hikari…" Shinji muttered aloud as he entered the house, but not before sighing, and slammed the door shut.

Lately

Shinji locked the door behind him and made his way through the house as he looked for the girl. She probably knew how much it irked him when she left the door unlocked but she kept doing it, and it would seem no matter how many times Shinji begged her she would keep doing it. It probably amused her but it worried him to no end. It was like she was doing it simply to keep herself entertained.

Thoughts on the matter of leaving the door unlocked drifted elsewhere as he called out her name, "Hikari?"

"I'm in my room." The girl replied just loudly enough for the boy to hear. As he walked down the hall towards her room, he realized just how lonely it actually was here.

It was almost like a doll house. Everything was in each of the rooms but all of them were lacking the presence of the person who once lived in them. It wasn't simply a feeling of emptiness but that of loneliness that unnerved Shinji as he stepped towards her room.

It reminded him of his uncle's house.

Shinji was thankful as the memories of his time spend in his uncle's care subsided as he quietly slipped into her room and found the girl lying on her bed. Although he didn't know her long, the differences between this Hikari and the old one could easily be seen and noticed by casual onlooker.

Her trademark pigtails were gone, now her short brown hair simply laid beside her as she rested and her normally outgoing, cheerful personality was replaced with a mere shell of her former self. As he pulled out a chair from the corner of her room, Shinji felt that she was still trying to be her usual self except that it was easy for him to tell she changed.

Nevertheless, the biggest difference, and the cause of the girl's change, was the jagged scar that was on her face and overlapped her eye.

Shinji knew that she was permanently blind, but he was a bit too dense to notice the other effects it had on the girl. It nearly shattered the girl's concept of her own beauty and was the reason she hid inside the house.

The pilot turned away when he found himself staring at scar that was inflicted on the girl because of him. If he could have been just a little bit faster or stronger…

"You are thinking about it again, aren't you?" The girl's soft voice penetrated his thoughts and caused him to turn towards her as she spoke, "It was just… bad timing on my part."

Again, a part of Shinji sparked and came to life with that statement. It was the part of him that wanted her to hate him so he could just accept that and move on. It was like cruel and unusual punishment, but he still came even if he did feel that way.

It was like paying a dollar to your victim's parents on the anniversary of his or her death every single year. It disturbed the boy that he could say that was how it felt, but that exactly how it was. He almost wanted her to get up and hit him…

It wasn't a passing moment that he didn't think about what he had done to Hikari. That single scar completely crushed her and nearly destroyed her life.

"I'm… sorry." The boy said he lay back in the chair and tried to get comfortable.

For a few seconds, the girl's room was silent except for the soft breathing of the children and the sound of the air conditioner. Neither of the two was surprised that is started like this since it happened most of the time. The first few minutes would normally result in awkward silence while the rest of his visit was actually pretty fun compared with what he did most of the time.

Shinji's head rose to meet the girl's cheerful expression as she pulled the covers back in order to get out of the bed, "I'll go and make us lunch." Hikari exclaimed like a little girl going on a picnic causing a small smile to appear on the boy's face.

As she swung her legs from under the bed sheets and towards the side of the bed, Shinji offer the girl a helping hand to help her up.

He quietly watched as she got up on her own power, put on her slippers, and walked towards the kitchen.

The blue-eyed boy wasn't surprised in the least. Although she felt that she wasn't pretty anymore or that she didn't have the right to be a class representative, Hikari was determined to hold fast to her independence.

It was almost like an unwritten code that stated although she welcomed his visits, she would never ask him for help in any form; however, he didn't mind as long as she was content.

"What do you want to eat Shinji?"

"W-Whatever you make." The boy replied quickly, unprepared for the question.

Shinji followed Hikari into the kitchen and the sound of something being fried met his ears. He took a chair from the table and promptly took a seat as he waited for the girl to finish.

"It's a nice day…" Hikari adjusted the heat and added a bit of salt to the yellow substance that was bubbling in the skillet.

The pilot leaned back, "Yea…"

It was just plain and simple small talk. Although he was sure that both of them felt that it wasted their time, they had to say something or the tension around them would just continue to build.

Nevertheless, Shinji had something new on the agenda and he was going to bring it up.

When he turned back towards the girl, the words he was about to say almost instantly died on his tongue. It wasn't because of the robotic fashion of which the girl cooked the food or because of the intense glare the single brown eye placed on the flames under the skillet, but it was the aura that surrounded her.

By no means was Shinji a spiritual person but he could feel the temperature in the room drop a few degrees and the fact that it was mostly his fault nearly caused him shudder.

It was his fault that she felt that she wasn't pretty anymore, it was his fault that her smiles were so empty, it was his fault that she stopped going to school, and it was his fault that her life was falling into pieces.

What could he do? Just saying sorry wasn't enough and no matter how guilty he felt it wouldn't change the fact that she was scarred for life.

He was a pilot... It was his job to protect people, especially those that were around him, but he just ended up watching them get hurt.

A gentle hand caressed his shoulder as he furiously wiped at the tears that threaten to come down his face, "Are you okay Shinji?" Hikari asked with concern weighting in heavy in her voice.

The brown-eyed girl knew that it hurt him to see her, but for some reason it was a very small part of her that wanted to see him in pain. He didn't know how it felt to see your own blood spraying out into the air and back onto your face, and he didn't know how it felt have your eye socket shattered while you laid on the cold cement in shock.

Disgusted with herself for thinking like that, the girl withdrew her touch from the boy.

Hikari might have been surprised, but Shinji actually knew how it felt to see your blood spray from your body, and he felt pain beyond of that which she could only imagine.

Shinji was coming to terms with the physical pain that came with piloting but nothing could rival the thought of knowing that he ruined one of his friends' lives because he was so weak.

Words wanted to be said and statements wanted to be made, but nothing was done as the two teenagers wandered into the other's thoughts.

She wanted to tell him that she appreciated the fact that he came and that he could leave if he wanted… and never come back if he really wanted it that way, but she honestly didn't know how to say she did like seeing him everyday and was thankful that he came.

The pilot, on the other hand, was trying not to say anything. He already put her through so much. He remembered watching her father move away along with her sisters to a safer city and left the girl behind since she 'wanted to be with friends and so she could finish school'.

No one besides him visited and she never returned to school after the incident.

Running away wasn't limited to actually running away, it could be a lot of different things such as locking yourself away or refusing to accept something and instead remain ignorant in order to make you feel better.

The girl behind the boy was obviously doing the former and, although Shinji was honestly trying to help, he didn't know if what he had in mind was going to work or not.

The forgotten egg started to burn and Hikari turned away to focus her attention on cooking, "I should have been paying attention." The girl muttered as she watched the edges of some of the curds start to brown.

The moment she moved towards the stove, his hand shot out and wrapped around her wrist.

This wasn't the first time either one of them touched each other, but it was surely one of the most important. Like her independence, touch was another taboo subject and both of them fully understood that but what Shinji was doing was an open breech of their silent agreement.

They stood like that waiting for the other to move or, at least, speak.

At first, she wanted to give him an excuse so she could free herself but as time passed the warmth of his hand eased her and his firm grip turned into a softer one.

"Wait Hikari…" He paused as he searched for the right words to use, "I-I want you to s-start going to school again."

Shinji prepared himself from everything ranging from her just outright crying to her trying to kill him with one of the knives she used in the kitchen often, but the heavenly smile that graced her face was one of the things he least expected.

"I'll go if you promise to come with me." She whispered as her smile got even larger. Hikari somehow found out that he wasn't going to school. Probably from someone at school but he paid no thought to that at the moment.

Lost in the glory of her smile, Shinji could only nod with a dumb expression on his face.

It was easier than he expected.

As she rushed back to the stove, the brown-haired boy couldn't help but to smile. The bright yellow tee shirt, that was already a few sizes too big for her, hid her girlish figure completely but it reminded the boy of the beautiful day that he witnessed on his way here.

Before he realized it, he was daydreaming.

"Here."

A solid white plate with burnt eggs on them landed on the table in front of Shinji. Before he could even think of an objection, Hikari held up her hand.

"It's your fault they got burnt so you have to eat them." She demanded playfully as Shinji stared at her with his mouth open.

"B-But… I'm not going to eat them!" Shinji yelled with a grave look on his face.

Hikari burst into laughter at Shinji's ordeal. It always made her laugh when the boy got upset or anything of that nature.

The girl waved him off, "I was joking Shinji." She laughed as the dumbfounded expression returned to the boy's face again.

Shinji was pretty dense.

The telephone started to ring and Shinji became suspicious when the girl started exchanging nervous glances at the phone and then at him.

Her chair screeched as it moved across the floor as the young girl got up.

Shinji blinked a few times as Hikari quickly answered the phone before the third ring. It was very strange for Hikari to even get a call during this time of day, and Shinji already knew that her family only called on Sunday mornings.

"Yea," The girl said softly as she began to unconsciously nod her head, "I'll go with you."

Hikari watched the boy stiffed as he realized who the caller was. She couldn't exactly call it eavesdropping since he couldn't help but over hear her, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to hide the identity of the caller.

It was Touji.

If the fraction of Hikari that blamed Shinji for what happened to her was a person, it had to be the boy who blamed Shinji for nearly everything. Touji completely, and without question, hated Shinji's very being and the fact that bothered her most was that Shinji didn't even try to defend himself.

At first, Touji was angry for what happened to his sister and blamed it on the pilot of Evangelion but, when he actually witnessed one of his friends being hurt, he nearly snapped.

Her thoughts were violently interrupted as the boy briefly excused himself and walked out of the kitchen towards the front door. Hikari wanted to shout after the pilot but the phone held her in hand prevented her from doing that, so she simply watched the boy make his exit.

She sighed, "No…" Hikari whispered into the receiver, "I was just thinking about something."

For the first time, they didn't share a joyful parting.

-

The kitchen table was normally a place where stressed was relieved and tales were shared but, at a certain apartment, the kitchen table was under the law of silence and indifference that the purple-haired guardian broke as she sat across from the pilot she was responsible for.

"How did it go?"

Misato twirled the chop sticks in the miso soup as she asked the question. She offered to go with him sometimes but he felt this was something that he should do on his own and, as long as Shinji wasn't hurting himself in the process, it was okay with her.

However, his guardian was starting to notice how the boy was acting lately.

"Shinji," She called out and watched her voice rouse the boy from his thoughts, "Is something wrong? You didn't answer my question."

"A-Ah, it was alright…"

"Did something happen?"

"N-No! Nothing at all…"

The woman sighed, she wasn't at all happy about Shinji wanting to visit the girl but it wasn't exactly her place to tell him not to even if she was his legal guardian. Besides, just keeping him isolated wouldn't relieve him of his guilty conscious.

Shinji looked at his rice in front of him with disinterest, "Misato… I asked her to start going back to school."

"That is one of the best things she could do right now." The raven-haired woman agreed as she watched the boy pick at his food.

"Yea…"

The volume of her laugh caused Shinji to jump, "When are you going to stop moping around? You did something good today so you should be proud of yourself."

She honestly felt better when Shinji smiled and later laughed with her. Misato liked to see the boy smiled and wished he would always have days when he could just lay back and smile, but since that didn't seem like it would be happening any time soon she would at least try to make him feel comfortable.

Misato suddenly pushed the soup aside and laid on the table, "Man, I'm tired," The woman said aloud as she slowly pulled her jacket off, "Shinji, could you perhaps… give me a massage?"

The boy's face stared to turn into a bright shade of red and he shielded his eyes as if the woman was radiating with light. She laughed as she watched Shinji's antics, "I thought it would be good for you to get a laugh in before you started on the chores."

"B-but you had some to do yesterday and I d-did them for you!"

The purple-haired woman smiled as she flashed the boy a smile, "I don't remember asking you to do them."

The defeated pilot slowly walked towards the kitchen to start on the dishes, before he entered the room he raised his head and turned towards his guardian, "Thank you Misato."

The woman raised her beer in the air, "Ha, don't worry about it."

-

Since the incident, he rarely got up in the morning but now he was fully dressed and was prepared to meet the day. He did exactly that as he firmly shut the door behind him as he yelled good-bye to a half awake Misato.

The morning air was truly refreshing. Although it did little to ease the boy's nerves it did make him appreciate the fact that he really got up and built up enough courage to go to school.

As the boy walked towards the school, he once again admired the day and also the city. It was almost exactly like yesterday but the breath taking splendor of actually looking at the city made up for that.

What little sunlight did make it past the clouds reflected off the many windows on the buildings throughout the city and the tall skyscrapers stood as a testament to the city's strength and ability to face any kind of adversity.

Time gradually passed as Shinji walked through the city, and, before he knew it, he was standing in front of the school. His knees shook as an uneasy feeling came to rest in his heart and also caused the boy to think about retreating.

"_If you promise to come with me…"_

The statement pushed away the nervous feelings that gripped the boy's mind. How could he run away when it was his responsibility to fight and, more importantly, protect the people around him?

Nothing good would result in his running away.

If Hikari could face the trials that troubled her so much on a daily basis, shouldn't he be able to do something like this with ease?

Shinji steeled himself as he quietly walked into the school. The ticking of the clock placed in the hall intimidated him to an extent, but it would not shake the boy's determination. Sadly, Shinji didn't even plan on making it this far so when his classroom's door came into sight, his heart stared to beat faster as he approached the door handle.

He didn't know why he was so scared to open the door, yet at the same time the answer hid in his soul and far away from the eye of the mind. There wasn't any profound meaning in realizing that his fear was coming from the part of that knew he was going to be looking at some of the people that probably blamed him for what happened, but there was meaning in the fact that he was going to meet all of them face-to-face and accept responsibility for what happened.

Shinji applied pressure to the door handle and watched the door opened as he slightly pushed it open.

A familiar sight met his eyes as he wandered into the room. The smell of chalk came from the board and he could still see some small scribbles left on the chalkboard since the eraser failed to erase all of the white substance.

The classroom was just how he remembered it.

His eyes drifted towards the window where a girl sat facing the window.

It was her azure hair and ruby eyes that drew his attention most of the time, but it was her awkward pose that made the boy's eyes fall on her. He didn't know Rei enough to consider her one of his best friend or something of that nature, but he knew her enough to tell that something was bothering her. The albino, uncharacteristically, quickly turned to Shinji and simply stared at him with something he couldn't quite make out hidden within her gaze.

As he looked at the girl, images of holding her flashed into his mind but they swiftly left his thoughts as another person made their presence known.

Hikari stretched her arms out and hastily brought one of her hands to her mouth as she yawned. She wondered what was happening between the two pilots but dismissed it as a work thing and smiled at the boy.

Shinji's head snapped in her direction. The alarmed expression on his face softened when he saw the smile on the girl's face. Her simple smile adorned her face like lights strung around a Christmas tree and just being on the receiving end of that magnificent smile almost moved Shinji to tears.

The girl, had she know how much her smile affected him, would have teased him but, as the school bell started to ring and signaled that the rest of the students would be here within minutes, she honestly felt the need to ask him an important question. She was so caught up in her own pity that she didn't even notice how much it was hurting the people who tried to care for her.

Hikari leaned forward and placed her elbows on her desk, "Shinji." She calmly watched the boy as he stopped, walked towards his desk, and looked at his classmate.

Caring for other people was something that came naturally to her but at this very moment, she had great difficultly in trying to ask Shinji a simple question. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it before her voice could form words.

Shinji's hope faded as the seconds ticked away. Upon seeing that she wasn't going to say anything, the blue-eyed pilot took his seat.

"Shinji," Hikari said softly as her tone indicated that she was annoyed because she couldn't say what she had to say the first time around, "How have you been… lately?"

-Fin

What up? I just got finishing editing this chapter.

So long… I haven't written any updates for long. I don't blame people for sending those emails. I'm half motivated though, so I'll try by best. I actually had chapters for this and other stories on my computer but it crashed taking them down with it. I lost my motivation for a while but here I go with trying to finish one of my better ideas.

Like always, many thanks for reading and many many thanks for reviewing.

Chibi Fenrir


	2. Chapter 2

Another light purple tentacle lashed out at the Evangelion and, needless to say, Unit 01 quickly sidestepped the Angel's attack as the smoke in front of it started to die down.

As the figure of fourth Angel appeared in the midst of the smoke, Shinji braced himself. All of a sudden, the monster charged forward with thin streaks of purple slashing at the Evangelion.

Most of the buildings around the two massive beings were sliced in half and the pilot watched as they crumbled to the ground. Even though his main objective was to silence the target, he was also supposed to be the protector of the city he watched being destroyed. Shinji turned his attention back towards the Angel and again forced Unit 01 to pull the trigger.

He nearly cursed as the bullets bounced off its AT field. Unit 01 discarded the useless weapon and reached for the progressive knife in its shoulder compartment as it back stepped.

Shinji's eyes went wide with shock as a tentacle went through the Evangelion's shoulder. At first the dull sensation remained just that, but as seconds passed a burning pain spread through his shoulder.

It was at that moment he thought, no he knew, he was going to lose.

The force of the Angel's tentacle slamming into Unit 01's shoulder caused the massive bio machine to lose its balance. The progressive knife slipped out of its hand as it fell on the hill side causing all sorts of debris to rise up from the ground.

Shinji could hear Misato barking out orders and he could see the red display flashing as it tried to show that the boy only had five minutes of power left, but all he could pay attention to was how hard his heart was beating against his chest.

His mind was spinning and the dust that rose up prevented the boy from being able to see the enemy. For a brief moment, Shinji was in a confused daze and didn't know what to do at all and it was at that very moment the Angel appeared before the fallen Evangelion.

It was almost like the Angel withheld its attack just to savor the moment of his enemy's defeat but it was a different story when Unit 01 grabbed hold of the blazing hot tentacles. Despite the serve burns that made the boy flinch as he pulled the Angel towards him, Shinji still had enough sense to realize that he could beat it if he kept his wits about him.

Unit 01 firmly kicked the Angel backwards as it held on to one of the tentacles and ripped it off in the process. Shinji's panicky eyes somehow made their way back to the red display that indicated the boy only had three and a half minutes left.

Despite the fact that he was submerged in LCL, he felt like he was taking shallow breaths. His sight fell on anything that moved and his heart started to beat at a faster pace. His awareness was to the point where he could even feel the LCL being circulated in the entry plug. Seconds ticked away off the red display as the boy waited while his beads of sweat dissolved in the orange liquid.

At this very moment, time was Shinji's worst enemy.

He could hear Misato order his retreat, he could see the progressive knife in the hillside, and he could see a faint figure emerging from the dust… It was then that it suddenly came to him.

Unit 01 rolled out of the way as a tentacle slashed at the hill and grabbed the vibrating knife, but, as Unit 01's hand wrapped around the weapon, Shinji realized that he was familiar with this area. Against the pleas of his mind, Shinji's eyes wandered towards the roof of the school and seen something that would scar his mind forever.

From this distance, it looked like a red puddle with a school uniform over it but he could tell, mainly because of the way two boys was attending to the mess, that it was something far more important wasted liquid.

The pilot started to piece together the puzzle in him mind as the Angel moved closer towards the Evangelion.

'W-What if…' Shinji's thoughts were violently interrupted as the snake like Angel lashed the boy with its remaining tentacle. Although his back was burning with pain, it didn't hurt Shinji more than the intense glare he was receiving from one of the boys on the roof of the school.

As the lights in the Evangelion started to dim, Shinji overlooked his feelings and dashed towards the Angel with progressive knife in hand as the red display indicated that he had no more than thirty seconds.

Lately

"Shinji?"

The boy instantly sat up and checked his surroundings. To his relief, he was in his classroom and the girl who called his name was chuckling. Hikari's laughter died down and made her way towards Shinji's desk with something wrapped in a pink cloth held in her hands.

The pilot struggled to regain his breath, "W-What is it Hikari?" Shinji asked as the girl took a seat beside him.

"It's lunch time… well it is almost over now." Hikari unwrapped her lunch and set it on the desk in front of her, "Do you want some?"

Shinji slowly shook his head from side to side, "Why didn't you wake me up ear-"

"I was with Touji."

"Oh."

"I thought you would have woken up by now. Do you even get that much sleep at night?" The downcast expression on her face obviously meant no, but it also went a step further and told her he, like her at times, was troubled by something when he tried to sleep.

It didn't need to be said, but Shinji could tell she came to see how he was doing. When the class came in no one said anything but the pilot could feel the nasty glares that surrounded him, but he was thankful that no one actually took action.

"Where's Ayanami?" Shinji asked as he realized that he and Hikari were the only people in the classroom.

"She got a call and left early, but since the alarms didn't sound I guess it wasn't an attack or anything."

"Oh yea," Shinji rubbed his eyes, "A new pilot was coming today, but I turned down going so I could come to school." He quickly covered his mouth, the fact that he just reviled classified information returning to him through the haze of sleep.

"Hey Shinji," Hikari turned towards him with a blank almost indifferent impression, "I don't think it would be a good idea to be seen together at school." She said completely changing the subject.

He agreed. If they were seen on friendly terms it was likely that more people would become angry, and, to be honest, Shinji really did believe she wanted to be his friend but it felt like she was holding back.

It was almost like she was scared of him.

"Yea…"

The pilot watched as Hikari got up from the desk and started to walk out the door. Oddly enough, he wanted her to stay but he knew how she felt about the jock. When they were at her house, she often talked about the boy but it was usually a one-sided conversation since Shinji hardly knew him.

The boy turned towards the windows and looked at the sky. He never knew what Ayanami looked at but the world outside was certainly more interesting than this classroom.

"You should come out and get some fresh air."

"I… I'm alright Hikari."

"Come on Shinji!" The girl exclaimed as she returned to his desk. She grabbed his arm and playfully pulled it, "It's better than staying in here." She smiled as Shinji shook his head and she continued to pull on his arm, "Please?"

Shinji sighed when the divine smile appeared on her face. The boy instantly relented and the girl laughed as she dragged him through the school. Seeing her laugh brighten Shinji's mood but it was one question that continued to assault his mind.

"What about… Touji?" Shinji quietly asked as the girl stopped all of a sudden. Her grip on his forearm tightened and he wasn't sure if he angered the girl or not.

She stood with her back to him but her words still had the same effect as if she was staring him directly in the eye, "You hate being alone don't you?" Hikari whispered with all traces of her happiness lost in the low tone of her voice.

The fact that he actually did feel very lonely at times caused him to completely overlook the fact that she answered a question with a question. He could easily answer the question, but the way that the girl asked it made him fall deeper into his own thoughts.

He often found himself thinking that he deserved to be lonely and thought that nobody cared about a pilot that couldn't protect anything, but, basically, he hated being alone. He wanted friends, but who could he reach out to?

His classmates obviously disliked him and his co-workers always seemed to look at the boy with a weary glance like they were almost expecting him to fail… again. Misato tried to be as kind as she could but that still didn't make the apartment feel like a home, his father almost seemed to disown him, and Rei was… Rei.

Shinji nearly stumbled as the girl suddenly wrapped her arms around him. It was going to be another awkward moment but the teenagers were slowly adjusting to each other touch and, although he was blushing a bit, the pilot started to relax somewhat.

"I live alone Shinji," the girl began as she squeezed the boy like a stuffed animal, "I lost my position as class representative and… and sometimes I don't even want to wake up."

What could he say to make her feel better? It was his fault that she was like this to begin with and all she did was treat him with sincere compassion and in return he offered nothing.

"I like to think that I have a lot of friends but I really only have two or three," She laughed despite the fact that tears were building up in the corners of her eyes, "I guess I was too good a class rep huh?"

"Hikari…"

"I really want to try and be friends Shinji. If we work hard enough people might put this behind them and everything will be okay."

He couldn't stand to look into her eyes and eventually looked away, "It's not important what other people think…" He didn't understand what she was talking about. He knew that some, probably most, of the class didn't like him already but it didn't bother him much since he wasn't used to being liked in the first place but watching the girl cry on his chest felt worse than the first time he visited her in the hospital.

Why did it matter what anyone thought? None of them were scarred for life and lived alone. Sadly, what everyone thought about her is what scared Hikari the most. She wanted to be the same person she always was but it was easy to see that she changed.

She was no longer the pig-tailed representative of the class that made all matters concerning the class her own business. The once proud student felt like an ugly creature trying to scrap up what was left of its life.

"We're already friends…"

That simple statement penetrated the girl's thoughts and laid all of her worries to rest at least for the time being. She didn't intend for it to happen, but her face moved closer towards Shinji who, like any timid person, moved away.

Even though she was beginning to realize what she was actually doing, the girl continued to lean forward as the boy continued to lean back. Her lips brushed across his and she nearly parted his lips with her tongue, but the sound of approaching footsteps made her back off.

Shinji tensed up and Hikari instantly let go of the boy. Shinji could make out the shadowy figure of someone walking down the hall but the voice caused the pilot to uncover the figure's identity long before the sunlight reflected off his glasses.

"Hikari!" The figure shouted as the girl's last name echoed throughout the empty halls of the school.

The military otaku walked down the hallway as the light bounced off his glasses, "Touji was looking for you class, I mean, Hikari," Kensuke said as he narrowed his eyes as he noticed the pilot standing beside her, "Did… did I interrupt something?"

Hikari calmly eyed Shinji as she spoke, "No, nothing at all."

The girl walked towards the direction the boy came from and muttered words of thanks as she passed him. As she turned the corner Kensuke turned towards Shinji with a strange, almost apologetic, look on his face.

"Um, you didn't want to welcome the new pilot?"

Shinji was surprised he knew but since it was the same person who discovered he was a pilot he wasn't completely shocked, "H-How did you know?"

He shrugged, "My father leaves his computer on a lot. I wish I could have seen the aircraft carrier though." The boy sighed as the thought of actually seeing it was becoming more of a distant dream.

The bell rung and announced that it was time for everyone to return to class. Shinji waited to see if the boy was going to speak and, when he didn't, the pilot turned to leave.

"Hey, um Ikari," Kensuke rubbed the back of neck, "I'm really sorry about what happened. It really wasn't your fault, but Touji wouldn't stop and I couldn't do anything…"

Shinji waved his hand as he walked off, "It's alright."

"Don't say it like that. You know it makes me feel guiltier or something man." Kensuke stepped forward and the light reflected off his glasses with a white glare that made it nearly impossible to see his eyes, "I don't know you well or anything but why won't you step up or something. I mean everyone is talking all this bullshit about stuff going wrong but they don't even think about what'd happen if you didn't pilot."

Shinji adverted his eyes, "Thanks…"

Kensuke saw that he wasn't getting through to the pilot and also walked away.

The thought of Hikari's smiling face was enough to push away the negative thoughts but when the image of her lips coming closer to his came to mind he instantly remembered why he backed up.

He was scared of being close to the scar.

A burning sense of self hatred started to fill him. He was too weak to protect her in the first place, now he was too weak to even tell the girl how he felt about the injury.

It hurt knowing that she could honestly share so much with him, but, in turn, only got mumbled statements and small talk. Shinji really wanted to tell her how he would try his best to beat the Angels so no one else would be hurt but it was classified information, he wanted to tell her about his past but there was nothing to good to talk about, and he even wanted to share his dreams with her but every time he got into Unit 01 he was crushing other people dreams.

'It's not because she is ugly or anything… it's just the scar.' Shinji thought as he returned to the classroom. Shinji sighed as he walked towards his desk and saw the lunch box wrapped in a pink cloth that was lying on top of his desk.

He would give it to her later.

-

This was certainly not Misato's kind of day. An Angel attacked while they were on a ship, she didn't like ships, she met Kaji again, and, worse of all, the pilot that defeated the Angel almost got killed.

The Captain leaned on the rail and watched the waves crash against the aircraft carrier as it was making its way towards Toyko-3. Misato scratched her head and yawned. Today's events called for a beer but, as she leaned against the bars separating her from the sea, something more important came to mind.

"I wonder what Shinji is doing…"

"What kind of person is he?" The pilot asked, Misato already knowing that she was referring to the third child, as her auburn hair sailed in the wind. She had to know what kind of competition she would have, but it didn't matter much since she already knew she was the best pilot.

Misato turned towards the girl beside her with a slight smile, "Trying to make moves on the guy before you even meet him huh?"

"It isn't anything like that!" Asuka roared in defense, "Forget I asked."

The older woman stopped the girl before she walked off, "For real, he is kind, but I don't really know him as well I should. He really keeps to himself, but he is pretty dense though and kind of naïve."

"What about the other pilot?"

"She is pretty introverted too, but she is hard to read."

Asuka let out a victorious laugh, "I guess they won't have any objections to who is the best pilot then."

Misato simply raised her head and looked at the night sky as the young girl walked off laughing, "I wonder why Kaji left so fast…"

He softly knocked on the door and sighed as it slowly creaked open. She must have guessed he was coming. He walked in without announcing the fact that he was there and walked straight into the kitchen.

This was his first time coming into Hikari's house this late and it felt sort of strange being that it wasn't many lights on in the house. Darkness surrounded the boy and he carefully stepped into it. Shinji laid the pink cloth and its contents a table and was about to turn around until he noticed someone was sitting at the table.

"I didn't think you were going to come."

"The class representative told me it was my turn to clean-" He cut himself off as he noticed the discouraged look on her face, "I'm sorry…"

She reached over and grabbed the lunch box and smiled a bit when she noticed that it was empty, "I guess I should have made some more."

Shinji reluctantly sat down across from the girl at the table. He really should be on his way to the apartment so he could make dinner, but to just come into her house abruptly and leave would be kind of rude.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier," the pilot could see her single brown eye staring directly at him, "I'm really sorry."

He honestly wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault and he wanted to tell her how much it scared him. To know that it was completely his fault that she was scarred like scared him to no end, but to be that close to that scar that represented his failure as a pilot and her friend almost made him sick.

"You don't have to be sorry to me Hikari…"

"It was because you're just like him Shinji." The girl leaned back in her seat but the slight dreamy smile never let her face, "Both of you try so hard but, at the same time, both of you are so sensitive."

She was talking about Touji.

Shinji blinked, "What do you mean?"

"I love you Shinji."

The statement caught the boy off guard and completely shocked him, "W-What?" he asked with confusion causing the tone of his voice to be a bit higher than it normally it would.

The smile on her face grew in size as she got up from her seat, "You look like you were expecting me to confess that I hated you forever or something." She joked as she laid her hand on his shoulder.

"W-Why?" Was the only thing he managed to say and he struggled doing that.

A serious expression replaced the happy one she once had as she began to speak, "You're one of my best friends Shinji. I love you because you care." Despite her soft tone of voice, the words fell on the boy like a bomb.

A small part of him still didn't want to be accepted like that… especially by someone he hurt, "No one has ever said that to me…"

To put it simply, Shinji didn't understand exactly what love was. Of course he seen other people walk around claiming to be in love but that didn't help him to understand what it was. The only example of love he could familiarize himself with was the love his mother shared with him and his father.

That love turned his father into what he was today and, from what Shinji gathered, led to death but the carefree way Hikari spoke about it made it look like a promise of unconditional caring that, against both of their best wishes, he would eventually break.

How could he, someone who only brought pain to the others around him, try to understand something like that?

'I don't deserve to be loved…' The boy thought as the girl took a seat beside him.

"You might think I'm going a little overboard but I meant what I said." The moonlight filtered through the blinds in the kitchen and reflected off the girl's face. The single brown eye filled with compassion was now a darker color, nearly black, but the glow of the moonlight on her face caused her beauty to stand out. She was almost like a sparkling jewel lying in the middle of darkness that was the room they were in, "My mother constantly used to say how much she loved me and my sisters but I really didn't appreciate it until she was gone…"

"Sorry…"

She nodded and later smiled trying to mask the sadness she really felt, but the boy still managed to see the regret she tried to hide, "It's okay. With my father it was completely different though, he never said it but we could kind of feel that he loved us."

Hikari tilted her head, "That's how I feel about you Shinji."

Did he love her? How could he when he couldn't even understand the word, much less the feeling?

Shinji turned away and his eyes focused on the pink cloth that was on the table, "I… I don't understand Hikari. It's my fault-"

"Stop…" She ordered as she interrupted the boy, "Stop blaming yourself Shinji. You did the best you could didn't you? You didn't know I was there and you still beat the thing."

She placed her hands on top of his, "If anything I should be blaming myself… but Shinji," Hikari paused as she squeezed his hand as if to remind the boy that she was there, "It wasn't anyone's fault. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

The spoken word is a powerful thing simply because of the fact that it holds meaning, but truth and meaning could be two completely different things. A small part of Shinji found relief in knowing that it was his fault so that part of him remained ignorant of the fact that the girl was right and created its own truth which the boy accepted and somehow found meaning in.

Shinji slipped his hand from under her grasp and stood up. He couldn't stand to face the constant reminder of his failure but he forced himself to look at her, "It's my fault Hikari… If I had done what I was supposed to do it wouldn't be like this."

He politely pushed his chair under the table and started to walk off. The sound of his own footsteps felt alien to him but he keep walking even if it did feel eerie to break the silence in such a way.

"I'm seeing Touji now… I probably won't be able to spend that much time with you anymore."

Shinji looked over his shoulder to find the girl's back facing him, "I'm… glad."

As the pilot made his way to the door, he heard a shallow thank you.

-Fin

Another edit of an old chapter.

Hmm, I think I explained how they felt about each other and their situations alright so far. Seeing that this is just a bit of editing for my chapters, I hope that someone out there can notice the improvement in the next chapters and, don't worry, they are coming this time. ;;

I'll like to thank everyone for the reviews and I'll try my best to work the story the way I want it to turn out.

Chibi Fenrir


	3. Chapter 3

Sunsets were so beautiful.

The dark purples, oranges, and reds, combined to form a majestic backdrop for the sun as it sunk into the horizon. It was a sight that Hikari used to take for granted, but, now that she only had one eye which to view the occasion, it was something she loved to watch.

"Hey Hikari…" The jock quietly called out, his voice drawing her attention to him, "Thanks for coming."

"I wanted to say… um," Touji rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't used to being like this with anyone so it was hard to put what he wanted to say into words, "Like I just wanted to say that I'm glad ya back, ya know."

Hikari leaned on the railing on the side of her company. She turned towards him and smiled, "Thank you."

She held back a chuckle as he blushed. He was just like Shinji when it came to things like this.

Shinji…

Hikari wondered if he was okay. He was eating lunch when the alarm roared but what touched her was the glance he gave her before he ran out of the school to fight the Angel.

"…hate him?" The strong word Touji used snapped Hikari thoughts and she turned back towards him with a questioning look on her face.

"What?"

Touji's jaw clenched and the expression on his face wasn't a kind one. He looked forward with his eyes set on the sunset but it was obvious he wasn't talking in the view, "I hate him Hikari…"

With those few words defining entirely what he felt for the Third Child, Hikari admitted to herself that she wasn't surprised. Shinji was the pilot of one of those robots but it wasn't like he intentionally went and threw a building on top of Touji's sister or tried to give this scar to her on purpose.

The jock stood in the same position, his eyes still set on the setting sun before him, "Don't ya hate him too?"

Hikari opened her mouth but words didn't come out. She… she didn't know how to answer or even what to say.

Touji sighed, "Ya should…"

Lately

"Shinji! Cover me you idiot!" Asuka cried before one of the Angel halves lifted Unit 02 into the air. Despite how the Evangelion twisted to free itself, the halves lifted it high in the air and threw it.

Shinji swore. It was too late to save Asuka, but he was still had to get the job done.

Unit 01's shoulder compartment opened with a hiss and Shinji forced it to grab the progressive knife that slid out. He couldn't afford to lose. He had to protect everyone.

He had to protect her.

Quickly, Shinji dashed to the side as the halves of the Angel nearly cornered Unit 01. With the knife firmly in it's hand, Unit 01 dodged the attack of the half on the right and attacked the one on the left.

Before the pilot of Unit 01 knew it, the situation was exactly the same as it was with the fourth Angel. Orders came over the com-link in a blur and his mind was strangely blank as he acted on pure instinct.

The vibrating knife collided with the core and sparks flew as the knife screeched against it. By a sheer act of will, Unit 01 pressed the blade even deeper into the core as the second half of the Angel neared him.

Unit 01 was suddenly hoisted in the air and the knife fell to the ground. Assisted by the other half, Evangelion Unit 01, like Unit 02 before it, was thrown. As he sailed through the air, he knew what just happened.

He lost. He failed to protectsomeone again.

The blunt truth of reality hit harder than the impact with the ground.

The tongue lashing they received not only from Misato but also his farther was not one to be forgotten. Even as he and Asuka sat in the apartment they shared with the Operations Director, the memories of their defeat were still fresh in their mind.

Shinji sat with his back against the couch and Asuka laid on it as she flicked through the channels on the television with the remote. Besides the annoying voice of the actress as she boarded the train and left her lover behind and the occasional shifting of Asuka on the couch, the room was silent.

It wasn't a need to argue and Misato made that perfectly clear on the way home. Asuka acted on her own and took point and Shinji again ignored orders as he fought. Not only did they get defeated, but they caused Nerv to lose face.

"That's so stupid…" Asuka muttered as they both watched the man chase after the woman while the train was in motion, "Why didn't he just get on it if he wanted to be with her so bad?"

Not actually watching the movie, Shinji answered the question the best he could, "Maybe… Maybe he didn't know how he felt until she was leaving."

Asuka's brow went up as she was about to ask him to explain, but the sound of the door opening caused their small conversation to be broken up.

Misato appeared before them with a grin, "I got a plan to defeat the Angel."

Shinji didn't have any problems with that but his curiosity got the best of him, "What's that stuff for?" He asked pointing at the stuff she held in her hands.

Their guardian seemed a bit too excited as she carefully dropped the items on the floor so they could see, "It's a part of the plan."

Shinji's eyes sailed over the site of two identical mats that were white with black spots on them, a radio with two pairs of headsets, and, finally, two matching suits that drew a surprised squeak out of him, "No… d-don't tell me I h-have to wear that!"

The look on his face was the highlight of Misato's day, "Of course you do. Starting today, you and Asuka will start synch training in order to defeat the Angel."

Shinji knew that the N2 mines disabled the Angel for a period of time… but long enough for them to train to defeat it?

Misato stood with her hands on her hips as she began to talk, "From this day forward, you two will be completely in synch. I want you to wake at the same time, blink at the same time, eat at the same time, and even sleep at the same time."

Shinji paled, "W-With each other?"

Asuka slapped him upside the head, "P-Pervert! She won't make us do that!"

"Asuka's right, except you two will share a room. Before I came here I readied one of the rooms in another part of the apartment complex." The amused expression on her face gradually turned into a more serious one, "We have six days. It's up to you two."

"Don't fail again."

The teenagers nodded.

-

Two days passed by quickly and while they were getting better with each other bit by bit. On the third day…

Asuka went as fast as possible and Shinji, who tried to keep the pace, missed steps because he couldn't keep up. With every mistake, Asuka threw an insult and almost seemed to give up on it when he slipped on the ninth try.

"Goddamnit Shinji! How hard is it to keep up?" Asuka yelled as she looked down at her roommate whom just made his tenth mistake.

"You're going too fast…"

"Remember Shinji. We have to go maximum speed and power! We'll die if we went at your pace." Asuka stated as she slammed her fist into her hand.

She was right.

If they went at this without their maximum output, the end result would not be anything nice. Thankfully, the pad was numbered and the tempo of the song was at a fair pace so he didn't have a reason not to keep up.

Shinji slowly exhaled allowing himself to breathe out the pressure, "Okay Misato. I'm ready."

Over the intercom placed in the room, Misato yelled the numbers and both of them moved at the same rate to touch the numbered areas. Their guardian smiled as her charges hit the right areas at exactly the same time. The end of the song was coming and Shinji couldn't quite calm himself seeing that this was the farthest they ever made it.

All he had to do was suppress his thoughts and listen for the number which came faster than he expected.

"Six!"

They moved and the music flicked off as Misato's sigh could be heard over the intercom, "I said six."

Shinji didn't even have to but he looked down anyway to find his right hand place directly on top of the dark spot marked six, "Wait… My hand is on six."

Asuka lifted her hand off the five, "She was talking to me…"

"Good job you two," Misato voice flowed through the intercom but the disappointment that was laced into her previous statement was gone, replaced with a small sense of satisfaction, "It's definitely an improvement. We might have it tomorrow."

Asuka looked at her hand, "Yea…"

Misato leaned back in the chair and stretched. Taking her time to yawn before turning back to the monitor, she looked at the children then at her wristwatch, "That's enough for today."

"You can take a shower first if you want to Asuka." Shinji said as he walked directly to his bed.

"Thanks." His roommate quickly stated, still looking at her hand as she picked up some clothes and entered the bathroom.

'It was a long day,' Shinji thought, 'at this rate; we might be able to do it tomorrow.'

His eyes, that were closed when he started to stretch his tired body, snapped open as he remembered exactly what was happening tomorrow. Hikari called once and asked Misato if she could pay a visit and she agreed seeing that she already invited Rei to come.

Shinji sat up wondering how he should deal with Hikari. He didn't ignore her or anything for the pass week, it was just they didn't really have anything to talk about.

'Besides…' Shinji laid his head back on the pillow, 'She was with Touji…'

Even now, he didn't know how he felt about their relationship. On one hand, he was glad that she was with someone that was looking out for her but, on the other, that someone was a person that completely and without question hated him.

Could he blame him though? Not only his sister, but it was also his fault that Hikari was in such a state.

On second thought, he didn't blame Touji at all. Sometimes he pondered how it would be if they were in each other's places. Would he hate Touji? How would he act? How would he treat Hikari?

The last question came out of nowhere.

"I'm trying my best… I don't want to hurt her anymore." He thought out loud.

"Hey," The soft voice of a girl roused him from his thoughts of Hikari, "You can take a shower now."

Asuka stood on the side of her bed clad only in a towel ultimately making Shinji wonder why she didn't change while she was in the bathroom. He couldn't pull his eyes away as she slowly reached her hands up to undo the towel… Well, to be exact, he couldn't take his eyes off her figure until their line of sight met.

When his dark navy eyes met her soft blue eyes Shinji knew he was a dead man, but the reaction of Asuka was a bit off. She smirked, "Eh? You were looking weren't you?"

Briefly thinking over what would happen if he said yes, a quick "No!" was his reply.

She walked towards Shinji who turned away already preparing for the worst. Asuka's grin became larger as she neared the cowering boy, "Look Shinji!"

"No! D… Don't Asuka!" He cried.

The towel fell to the floor and time passed before he lowered his hands from his eyes hoping to see her in bed. Shinji's wish wasn't granted as his eyes fell on her wet, fiery red hair that was still matted to her pretty face.

Daring to look down, he found that she actually was dressed in a long, but large, tee shirt.

"I see why Misato messes with you so much," Asuka turned and walked back towards her bed, "She wasn't kidding when she said you were dense."

"S-She said that?"

Asuka nodded, "She said you were with a girl named Hikari too."

The redhead wasn't exactly trying to pry into his life or anything; it was just that it got too boring without some form of conversation. Besides, she was at least the tiniest bit curious to their relationship.

She paid close attention to his face when she brought up Hikari. The confused expression on his face gradually turned more downcast as his eyes took a distant look to them.

'Ah damn, didn't want him to get all depressed and shit on me.' Asuka honestly thought and was about to attempt to change the subject until he spoke.

"She's just a… friend."

"I mean the way Misato was saying you went to her house every other day, it sounded like you were more than that." Asuka said as she lay on the bed.

Shinji blushed at the thought and quickly started to explain the situation to her. He heard that it was good to tell things to other people sometimes but he didn't know that it would make him feel this at ease. He actually felt good sharing what happened with his roommate.

"Oh…" Asuka stared at him before turning her gaze back to the ceiling, "I didn't know it was like that."

Shinji looked at the ceiling to their room also, "Yea…"

The room they shared fell into a comfortable silence until a question popped into Asuka's mind, "Hey… You don't pilot just for her do you?"

"Kinda…" He admitted as he got up to take his shower, "At first, I piloted because…" Shinji trailed off as he attempted to find the right words to say.

"I piloted because I could… and I felt like people expected me to, but, when… it happened to her, I decided I wanted to pilot so I can protect as many people as I can."

"I…" He started before he got up to take his shower, "I'll die if something like that happened again."

With that said, they both muttered good night to each other at the same time.

-

Nervous…

That's how Asuka felt training in front of Hikari and Rei. It's not that their presence put extra pressure or anything on her. As a matter of fact, it didn't even bother her (that much) that Wondergirl actually synched with Shinji in one try, it was just how intense their watchful stares were. Still, the strange thing about it was the fact they weren't even looking at her.

Both of the girls were openly staring at Shinji. Under their eyes, Shinji didn't even seem to notice them as he flawlessly touched the numbers in order and still managed to keep in synch.

What put Asuka off weren't the girls, but Shinji himself. For once, it was actually Shinji himself. It was the first time she ever seen her roommate so determined. The cold fire that burned in his eyes clearly said that failure was not an option but, for the second time today, that was not the case when her hand landed on one instead of three.

Unlike her, Shinji didn't say anything when he noticed that she was at fault. His shoulders just slumped and he would raise his head to Misato who would say something along the lines of 'One more time' or 'Let's do it over'.

"Let's take a break," Misato drunk the rest of the beer and placed the empty can on the floor beside her, "We'll get it next time."

Shinji and Asuka nodded at their guardian at the same time both half thankful that she didn't make them do it again.

"Are you hungry Shinji?" The boy in question looked up at Hikari who was still clothed in her school uniform. Overlooking how she looked in the uniform, he noticed the bag in her hand, "I brought you lunch since I heard you were training."

Being one to notice when attention was being placed on him, Shinji didn't have to look over his shoulder to know that everyone was closely waiting for him to reply.

He cleared his throat, "T-Thank you but… I can't eat in front of everyone else like that."

Hikari blinked, "Oh, that's right."

Shinji stood up and walked towards the kitchen to prepare something for everyone and Hikari followed him since she didn't exactly have anything to talk about with Rei, Asuka, and Misato seeing that she hardly knew either of them.

'Well, I know Ayanami to an extent,' She instantly thought correcting herself, 'but Asuka only spoke to me once and this is my second time actually seeing Ms. Katsuragi.'

Unconsciously, she thought back to the first time she met her as Shinji fumbled around looking for the bag of salad Misato brought. It was in the hospital, right after Shinji defeated the Angel.

Of course the injury she sustained hurt but, once the nurses administered the medicine, she would have forgot she had a scar if she could have open her eye. She could remember everything clearly after that even if the side-effects of the pain medication left her a bit drowsy.

Despite the small talk of her company, Touji and Kensuke, she wasn't paying attention to any of it. She appreciated the fact that they were there, but she really just wanted to rest. Not that she would actually voice it.

Merely by chance, she caught a glimpse of something outside the door. She saw a tall woman with purple hair quietly open the door and then usher in someone she recognized. Muttering a few words to her charge and then closing the door behind her, Misato left leaving Shinji with his classmates.

She could recall Kensuke saying something about needing a drink as an excuse to leave because of the obvious rise of tension in the room as Shinji and Touji noticed each other.

Shinji, his eyes full of guilt, looked directly at her and Touji, seething with hatred, turned towards the pilot. Turning his line of sight to the floor, he apologized best he could before Touji suddenly stood up and yelled at him. Blaming him for everything from his sister being hurt to the present state of Tokyo-3, the jock grabbed Shinji and the situation was about to get out of hand… until she physically forced herself to sit up and told him to let go.

Stunned, he released his grip on the pilot's collar and Shinji, acting almost as if nothing happened, just walked away. As Kensuke just happened to enter the room after the confrontation, she laid back down wondering exactly about what would of happened if she didn't stop them or what would have happened if Touji and Kensuke weren't there.

"What would you like to eat?" Shinji asked politely bringing her back to the present.

She leaned forward with a smile, "I was thinking you would eat with me."

Already seeing the blush starting to form on his face, she spoke before he would start rambling, "I was joking Shinji. I already ate."

"I… I wouldn't mind eating with you." He declared as he hurried to ready the instant ramen Misato loved so much.

Had he not had his back turned, he would have seen the surprise on her face. She turned to the side to hide her blush and was about to speak until a loud 'Hurry up Idiot!' caused him to cringe and prepare the food even faster.

Finishing his task, Shinji lifted all of the plates and began to walk towards the room until Hikari's laughter made him come to a halt, "What's so funny?"

She bit her tongue before the statement; 'You're really just like him' came out. Hikari reached out to get the plate balanced on his forearm, "Just say when you need help okay?"

He nodded as they headed back to the living room to find Misato still explaining to Rei why it was okay for her not to formally address her outside Nerv and Asuka watching television.

After Shinji handed everyone their respected plates and, Hikari noted, thoughtfully opened the bento she brought him. Besides Rei thanking Shinji for the salad (She later learned that she didn't favor any kind of meat) and the occasional question pertaining to her and Shinji, the evening was uneventful.

Taking a look at her wristwatch, she decided that it was about time for her to head home. Misato turned towards her after she stood, "Leaving without giving him a kiss goodnight?"

"M-Misato!" Shinji called out as he came back into the room dressed in his uniform.

The raven-haired woman poked Shinji before she raised her beer to her mouth, "Some people know how to take a joke."

He followed Hikari to the front door and offered to walk her to the train station, but, like Rei, she refused. She smiled as Shinji handed her the bento she gave him, "Don't trouble yourself with me, you still have to train with Asuka don't you?"

"Yea, but-"

"Don't worry about it Shinji," She said cutting him off, "I had fun today."

"I'm sorry for Misato, you know, that's just how she is."

"Ha, I didn't mind."

They stared at each other until she turned around, "I'll see-"

"Hikari…" It was his turn to interrupt her as he stepped out of the apartment behind her, "I… I won't fail anymore." He remarked before his resolve gave out.

She looked over her shoulder in confusion but her expression got softer as realization finally reached her. Hikari nodded as a smile crept onto the features her face.

"I know."

Fin

Author's note:

Hmm, an update! With more chapters following every two or three days? From this guy? Impossible!

For real, this chapter came off as a bit rushed to me so I may edit it when I have more time. Getting on to the characterization, I think it would have been better if I fleshed out Rei in this story a bit more but I'll save it for another chapter. Also, as we all can easily tell, Hikari is and will be out of character. To answer a question before I get it, being scarred for life doesn't make you want to tease members of the opposite sex. ;;

I figured that she'll be friendlier with Shinji seeing that he is one of her closest friends now. Hmm, with that said… to the next chapter I go. o.o

Chibi Fenrir


	4. Chapter 4

Her eyelids slowly opened and she woke to sounds of construction in the distance. Pulling the sheets off her nude form, Rei Ayanami got out of the bed and walked over countless bandages and what not that laid around as she went to the bathroom and turned the tap in the shower. Without so much as a second thought, she stepped in.

She barely flinched when the cold water came into contact with her azure hair and pale skin. As she cleansed herself, the grumble in her stomach reminded her that she was hungry and she briefly thought of the salad that she received from Shinji. She could still remember the cheerful look on his face when he handed her the plate and quickly turned to give the other plates to their co-workers.

It wasn't the first time she ever had salad, but it was certainly something special about the salad she ate that day simply because she received it from him. She ate it slowly, carefully chewing every leaf and savoring every bit of radish. She recalled enjoying it and, then, remembered the first time she actually thanked someone.

Shinji followed her to the door as she was about to take her leave and she clearly remembered saying the simple phrase and the smile that appeared on his face after she said it.

Unlike her cool air conditioned room or the cold water that filtered out of the showerhead, she felt a warm feeling build inside her at the mere thought of being the one who made him smile.

Allowing herself to be submerged in thought, she pondered about sharing other… experiences with Pilot Ikari. Without a doubt, they would certainly be pleasant.

Stepping out of the shower, Rei voluntarily broke the still silence of her apartment by saying a word that she believed she should get used to saying while in the presence of Pilot Ikari.

Envisioning the boy in front of her, she held direct eye contact and opened her mouth.

"Thank you."

Lately

Shinji lost… again and again to be exact.

The pilot of Unit 01 looked down in complete defeat as the red-haired pilot of Unit 02 towered over him. With her mocking laughter crushing what little dignity he had left, she still had to ask, "Another round Third Child?"

He sighed. What were his choices? Give up, be bored, and still get made fun of for losing in the first place or keep playing and keep losing only giving her more of a reason to laugh.

Facing his no win situation with a fool's courage, Shinji bravely pressed a button and watched the man on the television get off of his knees and give a thumbs up as the continue timer stopped before it reached zero.

They were playing a video game console that Misato got for them. It was a gift for getting in synch with one another a whole day early which allowed everyone to breathe in some relief. Although they still attacked the Angel on the scheduled day, it was still an overwhelming success.

Shinji randomly pressed buttons and watched as the man randomly threw out attacks that missed Asuka's character who gracefully avoided each strike with ease. Pausing his button bashing just long enough to see what Asuka was pressing to block and avoid his attacks, Asuka seen her opening and took it.

Both of them stared at the screen as Asuka pressed the right combination of buttons and the character she controlled, a skinny woman with a sword way too large for her to even properly wield, started to flash.

She drove the blade of the sword into the ground and the shock caused the man to sail through the air. Stepping on the hilt, the woman jumped off the sword and juggled Shinji's character in the air with a series of what seemed like never ending blows until she delivered a quick elbow to his mid-section.

The attack launched the man into the air and Asuka's character smirked as she drew the dormant sword out of the ground. Shinji's character descent ended all too soon as he met with the blunt side of the blade as the woman heaved the weapon into the air.

Shinji didn't even have to look at the screen to know that his character was knocked out. Asuka cheered as the combo tally showed that she broke her own record with the chain of hits.

He mumbled the words he should have said long ago, "I give up."

Asuka got up and flicked the game off as her character celebrated her win by tossing her sword in the air and catching it, "Figured you'd endure some more."

Shinji sighed, "You say it like I wasn't going to win…"

He almost thought he offended her when she spun around, "Like that'll ever happen! I'm the best Shinji, never forget that!"

Getting up and stretching, Shinji felt like going to sleep but he was kind of hungry. Since he was going to make a quick sandwich or something real quick, he figured he might as well ask Asuka if she wanted anything.

"Are you hungry?" The asked at the same time, both of them nodding at the question.

Shinji scratched the side of his face, "You're sleepy too?"

His question went unanswered as both of them raised their hands to their mouths as they yawned. Aware of how the other was feeling, they went into the kitchen and Shinji pulled out what he needed to make a quick snack before they went to sleep.

Suddenly, an urge to use the bathroom came and Shinji left the knife in the peanut butter jar as he turned to go there until he realized that Asuka was already gone.

He sighed, "The training…"

-

The walk to school was filled with the usual talk that consisted of how Asuka still didn't get some kanji, why they had to walk when Section-2 could actually just drop them off so they wouldn't have to be stalked, and, of course, how wonderful Kaji was.

Shinji walked into the classroom and pass Hikari without doing anything, even a nod to show that he noticed her. Asuka noticed that their eyes met but neither greeted the other. As she took her seat, the redhead figured she'd ask him about it but something more surprising made her forget it entirely.

"Hello Ikari."

Everyone that heard it turned towards the blue haired pilot of Unit 00 certain that they heard her speak. Most, brushing it off as someone else speaking, turned away until Shinji raised his head in Rei's direction and replied.

"H-Hello Ayanami," Shinji said out loud unaware of the silence that fell over the class as the pilot greeted each other.

Rei felt a small sense of accomplishment at openly greeting him but, she decided, it felt better being replied to.

Unknown to Shinji, Rei found him interesting to say the least. From everything from his current situation with Miss Horaki to his daily mannerisms, she found all of it of interest. While she didn't quite understand his relations with the former Class Representative, she was more than sure that she desired more contact with the Third Child.

Although openly greeting him was a step, she didn't exactly know how to proceed or exactly know what type of contact she wanted from Shinji.

Even if she didn't have that figured out yet, she still didn't at all mind the thought of getting closer to him.

Keeping her eyes on the world outside the classroom via the window, Rei thought that perhaps getting on a first name basis would help advancement of their relationship, and, if possible, further visits to the apartment he shared with the Major and Pilot Sohryu.

Rei's relationship with Major Katsuragi was simply that of a superior officer, nothing more and nothing less. Even if she knew of her before Shinji arrived, she rarely interacted with her but, of course, the Angel attacks changed that.

Even if she seemed lax at home, Rei realized the Major's abilities were absolutely vital to their counter to the Angels and she was to be respected not only for her role as Operations Director, guardian to two of the chosen Children to pilot Evangelion, but also as an advice giver seeing that Rei actually received the thought of asking Shinji to call her by her first name from the Major herself.

But her association with the Second Child was complex at best.

Even though she was neither competitive nor outspoken, Asuka seemed to more critical of her than she was of Shinji. She was made fairly aware of the girl's dislike of her on more than several occasions but Rei found herself simply unable to understand the source of her co-worker's loathing of her.

If anything, she knew that the feeling was not mutual and that it wasn't exactly hate. While Asuka had only a mild or so dislike of her, Dr. Akagi utterly hated her and, again, she didn't understand why.

"Ayanami?"

Rei blinked as she realized that someone was trying to get her attention. Drawing her attention from the window she turned to find Shinji on the side of her desk and that they were the only two in the room.

This was not the first time she fell so deep in thought that she didn't realize that she was left in the class but this was the first time Shinji approached her like this. With the mere thought, her heart started to flutter as she thought about asking him to instead call her by her first name.

"Ikari… I would be content if you would please call me Rei."

Shinji stared at her for a few seconds and then nodded with a small smile on his face, "It's only fair if you call me Shinji then Rei."

'Yes,' The First Child also nodded as she thought, 'this is… acceptable.'

Shinji raised the rags he held in his hand, "We're on cleaning duty today Rei."

Although he would never say it, Shinji was most comfortable when he was with Rei. He still felt a bit of shame when the swift thought of her being nude and under him came to mind, but he immediately pushed the thought out of his mind as he started to clean the desk.

It was the quiet understanding between them that set him so much at ease. It felt like she didn't expect anything at all out of him. While it wasn't that everyone else was so demanding, it was just that with Rei she seemed to be okay with him just being himself and nothing made him feel better than not having to meet the inhuman expectations that were so often placed on him.

For Rei, it was quite the opposite. She still couldn't grasp fully what she felt for Shinji but she liked being in his presence. He was the first person to reach out towards her and she was content with just being around him since he made her feel better.

Both would have been happier if they had known the effect they had on the other, but, for now, they were just satisfied with the silence peace between them as they cleaned.

-

Misato yawned as she stumbled into the apartment already half sleep. She swore that she almost stayed up two days straight working on the damage reports she put off to deal with preparing for the seventh Angel.

The Major over heard Shinji and Asuka in the living room but paid them no mind as she retreated to her bed, "I know have to get some sleep if I'm too tired to tease him…" She muttered as she slid open her bedroom door.

"Where did you get that idea from?" Asuka asked as she sat on the couch, "That's just how Wondergirl is idiot."

"She's becoming friendlier," Shinji retorted, defending his friend, "This was the first time we really talked today."

"Wow!" Asuka exclaimed with her voice already dripping with sarcasm, "What extremely interesting topic did Shinji the Great and Wondergirl discuss today?"

"Um…" Shinji deflated, "Cleaning…"

"Wonderful!" She threw her hands in the air as she exaggerated her reaction on purpose.

Shinji wondered if bringing up Rei was a good idea or not but decided it was alright. Even if she didn't like Rei, he still liked talking to Asuka even though she still belittled him every now and then.

In all honesty, he didn't mind at all.

Just like with Rei, Asuka and Misato made him comfortable in different ways.

It felt odd thinking it being that he had only been here for a few months, but without them it wouldn't be home. Even if she didn't give any hints, he could tell Misato was trying hard to make him as comfortable as possible and Asuka…

The brown haired boy looked at his roommate who returned to playing the video game after their conversation was over. He watched her as she pressed the buttons on the controller in a frenzy and as she started to grin when her opponent was left a bloody mess in front of her character.

He admired Asuka.

She was everything he wasn't… Strong, outspoken, and brave were only a small sum of the things that made the red-haired pilot his complete opposite and he lacked all of them.

Shinji laid back and rested his head on the couch as the sounds from the video game flowed into his ears. For the first time in his entire life, he was actually happy.

He was happy to meet all these people and, even if bad things happened, he was honestly glad to have friends. All of the time he spent alone didn't even matter to him anymore, these few moments of peace where he could just sit back and relax with people he could call friends made him happy.

Shinji stared at the ceiling, his eyes full of determination, "I'll protect this…" He thought out loud, reminding himself of his vow.

Yes… He would protect all of them.

"What was that Third Child? A challenge?" Asuka placed a hand on her ear as she leaned closer to him, "You want to get beat again?"

He didn't get a chance to protest as the second controller fell in his lap. In a matter of minutes, they picked their characters and were ready to watch The Passion of Shinji.

"I won't go soft on you just because you picked my character." Asuka declared before the match started.

The announcer yelled, "Battle!"

With that the fight started. Asuka's character back-stepped, her weapon leaving a trail in the ground with each step backwards. Shinji forced his character to dash forward and, to Asuka's complete surprise, started to land a chain of successful attacks before she managed to press the block button.

She watched as her character was knocked high into the air and she laid the controller on the floor, already realizing that it was a lost cause. Knowing that the rest of the combo was automatic, Asuka had to ask her roommate a question he knew was coming.

"So…" She turned to Shinji who was still watching the match that was about to end in his favor, "That's why you picked my character?"

"Yea," he answered without turning around, "I learned how to do it when I was watching you and I just memorized the buttons to press. At first I was thinking that it would probably work with the other characters too but I wanted to see if I was right so I…"

Shinji trailed off when he turned to find Asuka not looking very happy.

She poked him on the chest as she spoke, "That's cheating! That match doesn't count."

"Hey! How is that…"

This time it was the alarm on his wristwatch that cut him off. Asuka, knowing what it meant, didn't say anything as he stood up and looked at the time. She knew because he forgot to turn it off on their first day of training and, after she learned of what happened and their relationship, she didn't ask any further questions about it.

He always set his watch to go off at the time he was supposed to leave to meet with Hikari.

Although she felt that he would refuse, she just wanted, no, she had to ask, "Rematch?" She quietly requested as the warm nature of the room was lost with the annoying sound of the alarm still going off.

The roommates looked at each other as he pressed a button on his watch to stop the alarm.

The simple request for one more round caused questions to sprang up in his mind. Questions that was more important than if he desired to play a game or not before leaving. What if he really didn't want to go? She already told him that she didn't have that much time to spend with him anymore.

'But…' Shinji thought as he looked down at Asuka who waited for his answer, 'It doesn't matter how I feel… I owe it to her.'

"Maybe… Maybe when I get back."

"Alright."

As Shinji turned around to walk towards the front door, she looked at the television where her character was on her knees with the large sword towering over her. The character passed out with a pained cry as the continue timer passed one and finally reached zero.

-

Nearing Hikari's house, Shinji wondered if it was okay to set his visits for an hour later than usual. Not only because of her privacy or anything like that but because it was almost night.

He didn't have any indecent intentions or anything; it was just that Hikari's house was a different place when it was dark. The entire mood of the house changed at night. The spaciousness and freedom that he could associate with it during the day was lost when the sun went down. At night, the open confines of the house seemed to suck you into the loneliness that waited for you in the dark.

It didn't scare him though. As a matter of fact, he was used to it being that he was familiar with it thanks to the time spent with his uncle, but he still worried how Hikari felt about it as he gave the door a slight push.

Surprised that it didn't creep open like it usually do, he gave it a harder push only to discover that the door was locked. Twisting the knob just to double check, Shinji slowly withdrew his hand from the door.

This was the first time he ever came to her house and found the door locked. Unlike Rei, who left her door open because it would simply be inconvenient to lock it and unlock it every time she left and returned, she left the door open because she knew he was coming.

He was about to turn and walk back to the apartment until he noticed the yellow note left under the door. Thankful for the moonlight, Shinji held the small piece of paper to his face and read the neat handwriting on it.

The brown-haired boy placed the note in his pocket being careful not to crumple it.

It said she was over Touji's house and that she wouldn't be back until later. The note was still fresh in his mind as his fingers brushed against the paper as he took his hand out of his pocket.

The last line was still very clear.

"Don't wait for her…" Shinji muttered as he started to turn around.

"Shinji…?" A voice came out of the night causing the boy to jump.

Quickly recognizing the voice, Shinji looked over his shoulder and said her name when his eyes fell on her familiar face, "Hikari."

This was also the first time he saw her in something other than her night clothes and school uniform. The tan jacket wrapped almost completely around her thin frame only partly open allowing Shinji to see the tight fitting shirt beneath it. Complementing the jacket, the brown pants were almost as tight as her shirt.

Shinji coughed as he took his mind off how good she looked and was about to ask her a question until she said something first.

She stared at him as he turned to face her, "I said on the note not to wait for me Shinji…"

He rubbed the back of his neck, "I just got here."

"Oh," Hikari muttered as she passed Shinji to open the door.

Something was off with her today he noticed as she put the key in the lock and turned it. Usually it was a smile or tease he was greeted with, but she seemed kind of tired this time around. He didn't exactly want to pry and ask her what happened but he had to know, "Hikari, are… are you okay?"

Relief washed over him as she laughed. The door squeaked open as she pushed it, "I must be looking pretty bad if I got you worried enough to ask Shinji."

"No! I mean, you…" He paused as the right words came to mind, "You just look tired…"

"I am." She replied.

"I went all the way over to Touji's house for dinner since he invited me but, when I got there, he and his father were already leaving to go visit his sister." Hikari said as she pulled off her jacket and threw it on the couch. Of course, she didn't mind but Touji lived pretty far away. Seeing that she didn't really exercise that much, it wasn't surprising that it put a lot of physical stress on her.

She stopped mid step when she noticed she mentioned his sister knowing the effect it had on Shinji… who wasn't even behind her. Turning around, could still see him standing outside watching her, "What are you doing?"

"You didn't say I could come in." He stated seriously, overlooking the fact that he normally just walked in if the door wasn't locked.

When she laughed and waved her hand as a sign to come in, only then did it hit him that he was walking in a girl's house. Not only a girl, but a friend… he was in the house of a very important friend.

This also, like he thought before, was apart of his contentment. It didn't matter if they weren't involved romantically or if she was with someone else, just knowing that they were close enough that she would let him in made him feel more than grateful they were friends.

But Hikari was the only person that was a daily reminder to his promise. The scar that he constantly faced only reminded him of his resolve to never fail anyone, especially her, again.

"Shinji," Hikari started causing his thoughts to break up as he faced her, "I'm kind of sleepy so…"

"Let… me make you something to eat." He interrupted her, "If you don't mind."

Hikari wasn't surprised by his kindness. It was just like him to try to help her no matter how he felt. He was the type of person that always wanted to help but just didn't know how sometimes. So when an opportunity presented itself, he spoke before he even though about what to say.

She walked up to him and looked Shinji in the eye, "Don't push yourself okay?"

He looked back at her, "Aren't you hungry though?"

Hikari wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned into him, "I'm not talking about food Shinji."

This time he didn't get tense or try to pull away. She was also the only person who came this close to him and he didn't mind. The scar honestly didn't bother him as much as it once did and he paid anything else besides the warmth against him little attention.

"I… don't get it." He said, only half understanding her statement.

"I love you Shinji." She reminded him.

How was he was supposed to react? Put his arms around her and say the same thing? Leave before things got even more complex? Do nothing?

None of them were answered as Hikari spoke, "You're changing, but I don't know if it's for the best or not."

"I am?" Shinji asked, not feeling like he was changing in the least bit.

"Yea," She continued, "I know you're trying hard but… don't sacrifice yourself for other people. I know it sounds selfish, but think of yourself sometimes."

"Hikari…"

She didn't have to look up at his face to know his expression was solemn, "I swear I'm going to protect… everyone." Shinji whispered as the fire of determination roared in his dark blue eyes.

Even if she worried about his safety, Hikari squeezed her arms tighter around him before she finally let go and walked to the kitchen with him following her. She felt a nagging feeling that told her that he wanted to really say her, but she brushed it off just thankful that she fully knew that she was included in everyone.

-Fin

Author's note: Cable still off… Nothing wrong with donating…

Seriously, I think I did alright at showing what everyone felt, feel, and, hopefully, will feel about their relationships with various characters. The same with any story, the main point isn't characters, setting, or anything of that crap. ee

The real stuff lies in conflict of interest and I hope I'm doing it right. Nothing like stretching out author notes to make my word count longer. Yup, nothing like a Hikari/Shinji story that can easily be Hikari/Touji, Shinji/Rei, Shinji/Asuka, or even Shinji/Misato almost.

On to the fifth chapter.

Chibi Fenrir


	5. Chapter 5

He was a man sole set on his convictions and wouldn't let anyone or anything stop him, he was a man who knew the inner workings of Nerv and its true objective, he was the father of a pilot, and he was also the guardian of the girl most important to his objective. Gendo Ikari was considered to be a lot of things. Even with this in mind, there were still some things that even he, the head of Nerv, did not care about.

Gendo Ikari was by no means interested in the boy designated as the Third Child.

As long as he was a capable pilot, he did not care about any of his activities outside of Nerv. Despite that, when a report about Shinji Ikari's visits to Hikari Horaki's residence from Section Two landed on his desk he couldn't deny he was slightly curious.

He leaned forward to take a glance in the packet of information gathered by agents, "Did you know about this?"

Vice Commander Fuyutsuki stepped from behind him to also peek at the report, "Yes, I didn't believe you would take any interest in his… relationship with his classmate." He replied as they both looked at the pictures.

The former professor was actually well informed of the situation. Even if he rarely if ever spoke to Shinji, he looked forward to seeing Yui's child becoming a better person even if he knew being an individual would hold little value in light of Nerv's true mission.

"Commander?" The voice of Ritsuko drew both of the men's attention to her.

The doctor made her way across the large office and stopped at the desk, "We are ready to carry out the operation against the eighth Angel."

The Commander of Nerv set the report on his desk aside, "Tell the Major to sortie."

"Yes sir."

Gendo pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose, "And Dr. Akagi, how has the Third Child's synch ratio been?"

Ritsuko put her hands in her lab coat pocket as she recalled Shinji's latest results, "He has been steadily rising. Misato said he has been visiting the girl that was injured during the Fourth's attack so I believe that had a factor in his ratio."

He placed his elbows on the desk and interlaced his fingers in front of his face, "Dismissed."

As the doctor walked exited the office, Gendo voiced what was on his mind, "Do you foresee any… dilemmas in the Third visiting with this Miss Horaki?"

"I believe that's a question you should have asked the good doctor," Fuyutsuki looked down at the Commander. Even if it might lead to something later, it didn't' seem to bother the pilot of Unit 01 in the present, "But… In my opinion, I don't think it is a problem at all."

Gendo continued to look forward, his cool attitude matching the temperature of his office. A small smirk started to form on his face, "Excellent."

Lately

To say it was scorching was a stern understatement.

She could virtually see how hot it was as she struggled to pilot the Evangelion and, she quickly realized, the situation was hopeless.

The Evangelion slowly descended into the depths of the volcano and nothing she did could stop her fall. She could picture the painful death that awaited her already but she kept calm in the face of such adversity by attempting to tuck her emotions deep back inside herself.

Besides her death didn't really matter…

She could be replaced.

Unit 00 unconsciously released the hold it had on Unit 01's progressive knife, "Mission… complete." She softly said in the same tone she always spoke in, being careful even in her final moments to not let her emotions surface.

Rei was scared. As a matter of fact, she was being consumed by fear quicker than the volcano was welcoming the man-made weapon into its depths. She heard tales of how people envisioned their life flashing before their eyes or of how people repented for everything they did in their final seconds but neither happened to her.

The only thing different was the occasional sound of the equipment started to dissolve and buckle under the pressure and intense heat. As the thin sheet of sweat on the surface of her skin continued to develop, the First Child didn't see any flashes of her life or any regrets. She only had a lingering desire.

If only for a while, she wanted to see Shinji again. Besides saying goodbye, she also wanted to say thank you.

When Unit 00 bounced, Rei believed that the sky blue Evangelion simply hit the wall of the volcano but when the com link suddenly opened she felt a spark of hope.

Shinji stared at her and looked stressed as he spoke, "Rei! Are you alright!"

Openly shock, she could only nod as she noticed that her Evangelion was not sinking anymore. Nothing made her feel better than the change of direction when Unit 00 was being pulled upwards, "I am… fine." She said honestly, fully relieved.

'He…' She thought as she leaned back in the entry plug, 'He came for me."

A whole new level of emotion came forth and she could barely hold the flood of feelings back. Shinji did not only save her life, he gave her what she desired most.

Rei did not understand how to convey any of the emotions she felt but, now that she had another chance, she would get to ask Shinji about them some day; however, it was still something that needed to be said now, "Shinji." The First Child called out, her soft voice a bleak contrast to the searing heat around her.

Straining to haul Unit 00 back to the surface, he could only manage to look at her through the com-link to wait for what she was going to say.

Remembering something the pilot of Unit 01 taught her, Rei smiled, "Thank you."

-

Misato was not exactly angry but that didn't mean she wasn't. Shinji's blatant disregard of his orders was something she had to address seriously and put a stop to now. Even if he probably did make good choices, she didn't even want to think of what would happened if he broke an order and made a bad one.

No matter how much she didn't want to chastise him, it was her job to.

"Goddamnit! Shinji listen to me! You have to listen to your orders," She yelled as she and her charge stood in one of Nerv's halls, "I don't just order you to do stuff because I feel like Shinji."

She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward in order to look him directly in the eye, "I know you are trying to do right but I make orders for the safety of everyone."

His guardian sighed, "If you had fallen in with her…"

Shinji agreed with her completely. He knew that her job wasn't easy and, of course, he knew orders were made to be followed but that didn't mean he was going to let anyone around him just die.

Misato patted his shoulder, "Even if you broke direct orders… again. You did a good thing Shinji, but please try harder not to ignore orders. Okay?"

He felt bad as he nodded, drawing a comforting smile from her. Even if he agreed with her, it didn't mean that he wouldn't do it again if he had to. No matter what order he received from someone, if it conflicted with him possibly saving the life of Asuka, Rei, or anyone for that matter, then it would simply be ignored.

After Misato walked off, Shinji headed towards the changing rooms. Allowing his mind to wander, he long ago discovered that he detested the plug suits. Even if he needed them for a better synch ratio, the boy always disliked tight clothes and the plug suit was as tight as you could get.

He found it mildly amusing that he would be one to think of clothing when the only thing he really wore was his school uniform. As a matter of fact, besides an old jacket and a baseball cap he never touched, he only had dress shirts and slacks.

Discarding the plug suit, Shinji entered the showers with freedom written across his face. Freed from another fight until another Angel arrived, he could rest at ease knowing that he got a victory even if another fight could come at any time.

All he had to do was just hold out until all of them were defeated.

Still, winning the war that Nerv waged against the Angels wouldn't mean anything if the people close to him died. If he had to sacrifice for someone to live, he honestly wouldn't mind in the least. Shinji rubbed his arm as he remembered the burning sensation the rescue left him with, but knowing Rei was safe more than made up for it.

"She looked so thankful…"

She looked happy. He had seen her smile before. He even saw her happily speaking with his father once, but the expression on her face when he glanced at the com-link was the definition of gratitude. Just being on the receiving end of something like that was reason enough to make him feel good and the fact that she was alive made him feel even better.

Grabbing a towel to dry with, Shinji was more than certain he would have dove into the volcano to save his friend if he had to.

-

Stand-by was one of the worst things in existence to Asuka and she didn't find it amusing at all that she was placed on it.

She was the best pilot and the one who deserved to be placed on point. To not have Unit 02 on the front lines was almost an injustice to her even if the mission wasn't exactly suited for her since putting Unit 02 in that equipment was almost an equal injustice to not having it sortie in the first place.

Anyway, when it was all said and done there was one thing she was certain of. She did not have any hand in defeating the Angel. It was all good though; she would plead her case to Misato and take point next time.

Asuka leaned on the wall near Misato's office when Shinji walked up.

She knew what took place at the volcano even though she was still at Nerv. When Asuka heard word that Unit 01 reached into the lava to save Unit 00, she was impressed. Given the way he has been talking about Rei, Asuka couldn't exactly say she was surprised.

The pilot of Unit 02 thought that it was something between Shinji and Hikari but she was becoming more and more suspecting of his relationship with the First Child not that she really cared about it or anything.

It was just that it was starting to seem like almost every girl her age was interested her roommate. When their co-workers, especially the female technicians, waved at him a blush would creep up on his face when he shyly waved back. She could remember the time when Shinji almost seem to hate going to school, but, every now and then, she would over hear the girls in the locker room saying some very… kind things about him.

Honestly, she didn't see what was so good about him.

Yea, he didn't have the necessary training and was a natural pilot but that didn't make him amazing. Compared to someone like Kaji, Shinji was just a little boy in every aspect.

Even if she didn't hold him as high in regard as everyone else did, Asuka was still on friendly terms with her roommate.

"Asuka?" Shinji's voice sounded strangely out of place as it echoed down the halls of Nerv.

The girl in question lifted her head, "Good job saving Ayanami."

Even if he was nothing more than a roommate to her, she knew when to congratulate someone on doing a good thing.

His eyes got a few inches wider as he received praise from his roommate. Shinji was almost tempted to ask her to repeat it just so he could verify the statement but, knowing Asuka, she probably wouldn't say it twice.

"T-Thanks…" He slowly replied still taken back.

Shinji's mind was on fire trying to think of a way to respond to her statement and suddenly one exited his mouth, "Um… Good job on stand-by."

Although he was trying to be kind, voicing that particular statement set Asuka's mind ablaze. Sadly, her mind was also set on thinking of a way to reply to Shinji's statement except with her hands rather than her mouth.

The red-haired girl stretched her arm as she moved towards Shinji, "Idiot…"

-

School wasn't really all that bad.

If you didn't count waking up early, walking to school, listening to the same speech about Second Impact, the various unwanted interaction and attention from your classmates, the short lunch period, how long school actually was, and the walk back to the apartment then you could certainly say that school really wasn't all that bad.

Asuka had enough of school a long time ago but she had to go for 'social value'.

The pilot of Unit 02 leaned back in her seat as the teacher kept repeating the estimated number of dead caused by Second Impact. If she could, she would just get up and leave but, since she couldn't, she had to find ways to interest herself.

One of the things she found interest in was the love letters she received from her classmates. Of course she wasn't surprised given her beauty but the sheer number of letters that piled up in her shoe locker was ridiculous. None of them mattered seeing that she would be marrying Kaji though.

She didn't really read any of them in detail but she did look at them. Even she would admit some of them were cute, but most of them were just plain strange.

Asuka could recall one guy writing that he wouldn't mind being 'on the side' at all and the love letter she got from a girl just made her feel strange.

Another one of the things she paid attention to in class was the pilot of Unit 01. Not to be taken out of context, she wasn't interested in him so to speak but she was interested with him.

Most of the time, Shinji was actually sitting straight up in his chair and seemed to be listening to the teacher word for word. She knew her roommate was diligent, but taking notes in here was just crazy.

Besides being a good student, he occasionally fell into a light sleep like most of the other students or he would look at the girl who sat in front of her.

Hikari sat directly in front of Asuka.

She rarely spoke to the girl and really only knew her because of Shinji. She was an average looking girl despite the scar…

By no means did it make her ugly, but Asuka could easily see why it would lower one's self-esteem. The scar was fairly thin but the length of it is what made it noticeable. It divided her eyebrow and stopped on the side of her nose under her eye.

Overlooking the scar, Hikari was a nice girl. She helped out her classmates whenever possible and even helped the class representative, Mitsuki, with her duties even though she was the former class representative.

The thing about it was that when Hikari caught Shinji looking in her direction she would just smile. After a blush formed on his face, he would turn away and either take notes or a nap.

She guessed that the freckled girl was the right match for Shinji. With Hikari seeming to be the confident and caring type, it seemed like she would be able to take care of anyone.

'Speaking of match…,' Asuka thought as she pulled another one of the love letters out of her desk to occupy her time with, 'What if I got one of these from Shinji?'

The redhead commonly thought about mundane things like that but actually holding an unopened one in her hand made her thoughts more vivid as she imagined Shinji neatly, but nervously, writing out his feelings on a piece of paper.

She laughed out loud, interrupting the class and waking a few of her peers. As if the thought of Shinji confessing to someone wasn't amusing enough, the thought of him actually building up enough courage to actually deposit the letter made her sides hurt.

Asuka wiped a tear from her eye as her laughter died down, "That was gold."

Besides, love letters were childish. Someone like Kaji would invite her to dinner and then confess as he served wine or something like that. Chumps like Shinji probably couldn't even say 'I like you' without stuttering then giving up all together.

Thankfully for her, the lunch bell rung before anyone got the nerve to ask what was so amusing.

Feeling good because of her laugh, Asuka reached under her desk for her bento. She felt around on the floor until she remembered that she didn't even bring it. She was so busy yelling at Shinji to make breakfast that she didn't realize she walked out without in hand.

The sky blue eyed pilot didn't have in money so she only had one option.

Share lunch with someone.

With that, most of the class was already eliminated. She didn't want to give off the wrong impression to anyone especially none of her secret admirers in the class.

After a while, she narrowed it down to two people, Hikari and Shinji.

She knew the girl who sat in front of her always brought extra but she also shared her lunch with the jock who sat a few desks behind Shinji so Asuka counted her out.

And so, she was left with the boy she just finished mentally ridiculing.

It just so happened to be that Shinji was setting his bento on his desk with chopsticks already in hand. Swiftly, Asuka moved towards him as the room emptied, "Hey Shinji."

He looked up at mention of his name to find his roommate standing on the side of his desk, "Y-Yea?"

"I…" Asuka shifted her weight. She didn't exactly want to ask Shinji of all people for something. As a matter of fact, she was about to walk away thinking that it would just be better to miss lunch.

"You didn't bring your lunch?"

"How did you…?"

Shinji pointed at her desk, "If it was something else you would have asked me before school."

Without saying anything, he placed his chopsticks on top of the bento and handed it to Asuka who stared at it.

She was honestly planning to only ask for a small share, like a rice ball or something like that but she didn't at all expect him to hand it all over.

"I just wanted some of-"

"D-Don't worry about it." Shinji scratched the side of his face as he held the bento in front of her, "I didn't plan on really eating much. I'm not really hungry today."

Asuka almost face faulted when his stomach growled. Shinji was perhaps the worst liar she ever met in her entire life.

He coughed, "Um… I guess I'll go buy something from the cafeteria."

Asuka forgot how fast Shinji was as he slipped out the room before she could stop him. Briefly wondering if she should go and drag him back to share it with her, she took the best course of action and sat in his seat.

She wouldn't say it out loud, but she enjoyed Shinji's cooking. She liked it to the point where it would make her mouth water but, as of now, she didn't really care who made it as long as it was something to eat.

Asuka opened the bento and picked up the chopsticks. With a look around the room, she was about to eat until she noticed Rei looking at her intently.

"Don't get the wrong idea Wondergirl, it's not like I like him or anything."

Rei turned her attention back to the window, "I would not assume as much Sohryu."

Had anyone been in the room besides the two pilots, he or she would have sworn it was going to be a fight based on the tension between the girls. The thick atmosphere of the classroom was broken as Asuka suddenly stood up. She remembered that she did have enough money to get her self something to drink from the cafeteria.

Figuring she would see Shinji at one of the tables, she brought the lunch with her.

As she walked the halls alone, she thought about the bento she held in her hand. It was more than just an offering of food. She didn't want to sound melodramatic but it was almost like a small sign that he actually cared about her.

In a way, this was his love letter.

She didn't laugh this time around as she looked out the window and caught sight of a boy sitting at the base of a tree. Not that it uncommon to eat outside, it was just that he was sitting there.

Asuka stared for a while wondering why he didn't just sit in the classroom if he wasn't going to eat. Moving outside for nothing was a waste of energy.

"Wait…" She said out loud as she back stepped to the window and took a closer look at the boy. Noticing who it was, she almost instantly felt aggravated but the feeling quickly subsided.

"If you wanted me to eat all of it myself, you should have just said so idiot." Asuka whispered as she made her way outside, deciding that she wouldn't make fun of the boy that much anymore.

She smirked, 'Well, not nearly as often as I normally do.'

-Fin

Author's note: Rolling… chapters… out… so… fast…

Gah, FFN doesn't like my line breaks so I have to use dashes now and don't worry about me going MIA on my story because I'm probably working on chapter eleven by the time you are reading this. o.o

Hmm, I think I did a good Asuka in this chapter. Seriously, she felt just a bit off at the end but we all know that she isn't a bitch. Yea, she gets laughs at Shinji's expense and stuff but that doesn't mean she kicks his ass physically and mentally all day. To me, Asuka was always just looking out for number one when she was number one so that's how I want to write her. o.o

Another thing, I'm seriously surprised that the story ended up like this so far. I mean I call it a Hikari/Shinji story but, with a bit of effort, I can easily make this Shinji/Asuka or Shinji/Rei.

With this complete, I just wrote three chapters in six days. ;;

Chibi Fenrir


	6. Chapter 6

Neither of the three in the house was big on family gatherings but Misato, Asuka, and Shinji made the best of theirs as they sat in the living room. It was not common for all three of them to be in the same place unless it was one of those few times when Misato was home for dinner or when an Angel was attacking.

Two sets of eyes were set on the television as Shinji's character, the one Asuka used, started to flash. Before Misato knew it, her character was on the ground knocked out.

Misato slammed her beer on the floor, "Damnit Shinji! Teach me how to play!"

He jumped because of her reaction to getting beat, "I-It's better to learn how to play yourself though Misato."

"Idiot!" Asuka yelled in outrage, "You learned from me!"

He gulped as they started to turn on him.

Again, Shinji found himself in a no-win situation. Now being a veteran of them, Shinji got his composure back and suddenly stood up. Even if it would only postpone what was going to eventually happen later, he seen his escape and he took it.

"I-I have to use the bathroom."

With that said, he made haste to get to the small room as both of his roommates called out to him.

In Shinji's absence, Misato turned towards Asuka who was still fuming over the fact that he ran away. Since they used the same character, it only made sense that she'd be able to ask her second charge, "Hey Asuka, you'll teach me how to play right?"

The redhead grumbled, "It's better if you learn how to play yourself."

Misato narrowed her eyes, "That's an order."

"Huh?" Asuka stared back at Misato, "That was a question though!" The girl pointed out.

The Major pressed the button on the controller causing the continue timer to stop, "Well it's an order now."

Asuka picked up the controller Shinji left behind, "Idiot Shinji… when I-"

"What was that?"

The pilot of Unit 02 sighed, "Start with pressing back…"

Lately

It wasn't a daily activity for the girl but it was something Hikari treasured dearly.

The freckled girl smiled as her younger sister's voice flowed into her ears, "Yea, I'm proud of you." Hikari said in light of the girl learning how to put her hair in pigtails all by herself.

She held the phone closer to her ear as she stood in the kitchen.

The phone calls she got from her family always made her feel better no matter how she felt before the telephone rung. Most of the time it was mundane things like her sister wanting to inform her that she learned how to cook a particular meal or her older sister just calling to see how she was coming along and then talking about how lucky she was to live alone.

Even if the phone calls normally consisted of small talk, she treasured them all the same. She never took anything for granted now and she enjoyed every minute of speaking to her sisters and father.

'Speaking of father,' Hikari thought as she could hear her sister transferring the phone to someone else, 'Isn't about time for him to…'

"Hi daddy," She greeted him as his deep voice came over the receiver.

Besides the calls from her sisters, her father would often request for her to move in with them or even just a simple visit from time to time. She always, but kindly, refused. A small part of the girl knew that if she left and went over there that she probably wouldn't be able to leave.

But was that such a bad thing?

'Yea… I can't leave any of them behind, especially during a time like this.' She listened to her father speak about how he would be there in a few days to drop off the groceries.

If she wanted to leave, she would have left a long time ago. She stayed because of her friends but mainly because of only two of them, Shinji and Touji.

It wasn't so much that she needed them; it was the fact that they needed her. Just picking up and leaving would probably hurt them and that was something she didn't want to do at all.

Still, she found it funny that they were so alike but, at the same time, so different. Shinji and Touji were both sensitive and protective, but they just showed it in different ways.

Shinji was fairly lacking self-confidence so, when he did have enough confidence to declare something, it made Hikari feel like he could very well accomplish anything.

He tried so hard but tried to be subtle about it and that itself reminded her of his modesty. Even with his duties as a pilot, he still spent time with her and tried his best to make her comfortable. She could easily see the stress that was on him though, but she knew she couldn't do anything to help him with it…

Touji, on the other hand, tried to hide his stress and, like Shinji, tried his best to make her comfortable.

Hikari sighed, "I'll think about it dad."

'Even to the point of being my boyfriend…' She noted. Honestly, she thought one of her wishes was granted when Touji asked her out. Hikari always did like him but was just too shy to bring it up, and, now that she was with him, something was off and she knew exactly what it was.

Pity.

That word was the basis of her relationship with the boys and she knew it the whole time. Shinji felt extremely guilty and worried for her because of the incident and Touji felt shame at being there but not being able to do anything just like with his sister.

As she hung the phone up, she realized this was the first time she thought about it to this extent.

She could remember the small things like Touji never looking her in the eye when he spoke or how Shinji used to never allow himself to get that close to her. Hikari was a strong person and even if she knew they cared, she wasn't one to allow people to shower her with pity.

With that in mind she started to reevaluate her relationship with the jock. She wondered exactly what they wanted from each other. Of course they liked being in each other's company but he didn't have to be her boyfriend for that.

Hikari knew what she wanted. She wanted to be closer to her first crush but it was what Touji wanted out of the relationship that puzzled her. When she actually put thought into it, he never really held her hand or kissed unless she was the one to initiate it.

The brown-haired girl sighed as she started to gather what she needed to make dinner. She would have to ask him about it tomorrow.

-

Shinji loved cooking and, as a result of that, liked making breakfast.

Asuka stood in the kitchen looking over his shoulder, "You know how to make pancakes right?"

He nodded, "Yea, all I really have to do is just read the directions."

Even if he did enjoy cooking, having Asuka looking over his shoulder didn't exactly put him at ease. Every since he gave her his lunch, she was observing him more often than before. While he didn't want to upset her by pointing out that he noticed her watching him a lot, he still wanted to know exactly what the pilot wanted from him.

Shinji stopped stirring the pancake mix, "Um, Asuka did you want something?"

"No, I just wanted to learn how to cook," She looked him in the eye as he stared over his shoulder, "You got a problem with that Third Child?"

"N-No," Shinji said as he turned his attention back to cooking, "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing so much!"

"Sorry…"

Asuka was about to say a couple of things till both of their cell phones started to ring.

-

NERV was not as important to the pilot of Unit 02 as other things. For example, she would rather be at school than be at the cold, dark halls that seemed to be everywhere in the complex but the reason she didn't mind was because of the machine she piloted.

Unit 02 looked like a statue carved out of stone as it stood. Like a work of art, it looked up with as the small sum of light that entered the shaft it stood in reflected off of it making it seem even more admiring. The four sparking green eyes almost dripped with resolve and even the crimson color of the Evangelion reminded others of Asuka's zest for absolute victory.

The red Evangelion was Asuka's only reason for her even remotely wanting to be at NERV.

Despite that fact, even when she was piloting Unit 02, it was times when she didn't want to be at NERV at all.

"So we have to wait here till the Angel crosses over?" Shinji asked as Unit 01 looked up at the sky.

"That is correct. The Major said we are to take the 'right course of action' ourselves seeing that she is not here to issue orders." Rei quietly stated, "However, its estimated time of arrival is not known."

This was one of those times.

First of all, she didn't like doing anything in the morning and then, when they got to NERV, they had to get to the command center in the dark but the worst part was the fact that they were running on limited power. That meant that they only had one chance and, even if that itself was bad, she seen it as another chance to shine.

"So exactly what course of action is that supposed to be Rei?"

"We should-"

"Wait," Asuka interrupted, "I got a plan."

Thankfully, Misato briefed them on the little information they gathered on the Angel. If they watched out for the highly corrosive acid it dripped they were good to go. Asuka reviewed the situation and her idea in her mind before she continued.

Her fellow pilots watched her via the com-link, "Alright, this is how we'll do it. Unit 00 will go down there to retrieve the rifle, throw it up to Unit 01 who'll fire, and Unit 02 will shield Unit 01 from the acid. Okay?"

Rei was the first to speak, "That is acceptable."

Asuka looked at Shinji, "Got anything to say about it?"

Shinji adverted his eyes, "Well… how about you and me switch places."

She actually didn't expect him to have a problem with it, "What? Why? Shinji the Great doesn't want another kill added-"

"I just don't want you to get hurt." He voiced, cutting her off in the process, "We should probably get in position now…"

"Wait!" Asuka yelled as both Unit 01 and Unit 00 motioned to get in position to act, "That means the acid will-"

"It is here." Rei suddenly said before the light blue Evangelion hopped down the shaft.

The pilot of Unit 02 wasn't one who liked being interrupted at all but she forced that thought into the back of her mind as she willed her Evangelion to get in position to catch the rifle.

She eyed Unit 01 as it took position above her. The horn scrapped against the wall as Shinji forced it to stretch it arms and legs so that it was situated just above Unit 02. The white slits that Unit 01 had for eyes looked down at the four green orbs that looked up at it.

Shinji could easily see Unit 02 and, far below, he could see Unit 01 picking up the weapon and preparing to toss it upwards. The pilots watched as the acid oozed down the side of the shaft and waited for the moment the Angel itself would appear.

Unit 01 moved to test its position at least one more time, "I-In position."

"Alright Rei…" Asuka said, still thinking it would have been best if she took Shinji's place, "When I say go, throw it and I'll shoot."

"Affirmative."

'Concentrate…' She told herself as she looked up past Unit 01 at the sky, 'He'll be okay. I just have to concentrate on my part.'

Asuka just felt… off.

Having Shinji protecting her didn't feel right. Not only now, but every time they had to sortie. He probably didn't think she noticed but she did. She noticed how he didn't say anything when she messed up during their training and she noticed the fact that he was starting to lose to her on purpose when they played the video game.

But something he didn't notice was that she didn't need any protection. She was perfectly fine on her own. Asuka he didn't need any help especially from someone as meek as Shinji.

The dull pain in her shoulder caused her to push her fumbled thoughts away as she returned to the present. Asuka looked up to find the acid dripping off Unit 01 and onto her Evangelion.

"Asuka…" Shinji weakly said, rousing her from the state of shock she fell in.

"Rei! What the hell are you- Shit! Go! Go!" Asuka said in a panic as she waited for Unit 00 to throw the rifle.

In an instant, the gun was airborne and Unit 02 greeted it with waiting arms. As the Evangelion slid down the shaft because she removed her hands from the walls, she fired at the Angel hoping that the rifle would work seeing that it was all but useless against the other Angels that were engaged.

Her wish was granted as the bullets pieced the Angel's weak AT field and killed it with ease. Discarding the weapon, Unit 02 quickly placed it arms back on the walls of the shaft in order to stop its descent.

She actually didn't expect that it would kill the Angel, but what she really didn't expect was Unit 01 slamming into her. Knocking the breath out of Asuka, both Unit 01 and Unit 02 started to fall down the shaft.

Asuka knew a fall like this wouldn't kill or probably even harm her for real but she was worried about the unmoving Unit 01 that was on top of her as they fell.

"Shinji!"

-

"Cleaning duty?"

Hikari threw a rag at him, "You didn't hear her call your name?"

Touji shook his head, "I must of been sleep…"

She sighed. Even if the Class Representative changed, Touji still tried to get out of cleaning duty with his bad excuses.

As the jock stretched, Hikari watched him while she cleaned the chalkboard. She didn't know exactly how she was going to bring it up but she wanted to talk about their relationship.

To tell the truth, she wanted to talk about it during lunch but, when she found out that they were both on cleaning duty, she figured this would be the perfect time to talk about it. Not only because it gave her more time to talk with him but it also provided time for her to actually think of how she was going to start the conversation since Touji wasn't one to bring up a topic dealing with their relationship often.

"Hey Touji," Hikari paused as she fumbled around looking for the right way to say it, "I kind of wanted to talk."

He looked at his girlfriend, "What do ya want to talk about?"

"About us…"

Touji put the rag aside, "Oh…"

Hikari reached up to clean the top of the chalkboard, "I just-"

"Before ya start, I just have to tell you straight out," He stood up, "It… It felt like you was getting farther and farther away ya know?"

"I wanted to help ya but I didn't know how to for real so I asked ya to be with me." Touji watched her clean as he continued, "I don't even know how to be with a girlfriend and I didn't even ask ya how ya feel about it."

Touji almost felt like he didn't even have to say it to her seeing how well she was taking the news.

He felt like she was leaving even if she was still there at the same place and he just didn't want someone so close to him to leave. Even if he tried as hard as he could to make her happy, he was starting to see that his effort amounted to nothing because it still felt like Hikari was growing more and more distant.

With this in mind, he clung, desperately, to the idea that she might stay if she had a boyfriend. Yes, he would openly admit he was desperate. Hikari was important to him and seeing her leave, especially after he couldn't help her at all, would have crushed him.

He looked down, "I'm…"

"You don't have to say you're sorry," Hikari smiled as she turned around, "You made me happy and you are trying to help me even though you're already so stressed."

"Don't do that!" Touji slammed his fist into the desk.

"Do what?" Hikari calmly asked.

"Lie to me… Tell me how ya feel at least." His anger quickly left him as he looked up at the smiling girl in front of him.

Hikari turned back around and continued to clean the chalkboard, "You really did make me happy Touji and you are stressed."

She knew how much pressure was on him. Like everyone else that lived here, Touji was living in an extremely dangerous time and he had seen too many examples not to be aware of that fact. He watched teammates and friends move away and she knew that he would try hard to keep the remaining ones.

Hikari also knew that he did make her happy. Even if the time they spent with each other was awfully short, it was still time well spent but even the casual onlooker could tell how Touji felt about it.

Despite what she knew, she couldn't deny the fact that she was indeed lying to him. Being in such an empty relationship didn't make her feel any better, and, as a matter of fact, it made her feel worse not being able to notice sooner.

Of course, she wasn't going to voice that to anyone. She was just going to smile and tell him that it did make her feel better and hope that he believed it.

"Mari… is doin' better." Touji said changing the subject.

"That's good news." Hikari stated as she started on the desk, "Did they say when she was going to be released?"

"Nope, I don't thank she is gettin' out anytime soon though…"

"I see…"

"Hikari…" Touji picked the rag up and started on the desk, "Can ya act like we still go together in front of her? Please?"

The girl in question quickly nodded, "No problem."

When it came to his sister, Touji was very delicate. It was a subject that he only brought up with the closest of friends. Strangely enough, she could tell the state of the girl's condition by just observing Touji's mood but that was a fact she overlooked as she reminded herself that he was now talking to one of his closest friends instead of his girlfriend.

The sad part was that she was over the relationship before it even ended.

"You're not going to be with… him now are ya?"

"Shinji?" She said aloud, reminding her that she did hear the alarm sound earlier in the day.

Touji focused on cleaning the desk, "Ya shouldn't be with a guy like that. He don't even stand up for himself." He said as he remembered the way the brown-haired boy acted when he confronted him.

In a moment of clarity, Hikari spoke, "You ever thought he didn't do anything because he felt the same way you did?" She said without any intent to offend.

And no offense was taken as Touji motioned to speak but just continued to wipe the desk.

Hikari fairly understood Touji and she could easily see his dislike Shinji but she didn't like when he to tried to force his opinions of the boy on her. Even with that known, that was the first time she actually defended him openly and Touji had nothing to say to refute her statement.

The former Class Rep looked at the class, "This is good enough." Hikari said, finding a change of subject to be suitable.

"Huh? But we only did about half da classroom."

Hikari smiled, "No one will notice, let's go."

Touji chuckled before tossing the rag in the bucket, "Best idea I heard all day."

The sound of his laughter caused Hikari to smile and then laugh as well but, even in light of her small moment of happiness in seeing and making Touji laugh, it was a thought of actually being with Shinji nagging in the back of her mind.

-Fin

Author's note: Damn, laying them out like hotcakes.

What is this? Hikari and Touji not seeing each other anymore? That… That means that it can truly be a Hikari/Shinji story now. O.O

Seriously, at first I wanted to have Shinji on cleaning duty with Touji since I was planning on that being a turning point for the story but having Hikari there made more sense. To me, Hikari's and Touji's relationship was nothing but a girl's first crush but, seeing that Hikari is injured right in front of him, for Touji it was more than a crush but not quite a girlfriend/boyfriend thing.

Also, I haven't watched the series for about… three or four years so I'm probably off on the sortie against the Ninth.

Chibi Fenrir


	7. Chapter 7

"Shinji!" Asuka yelled as the two Evangelions fell and were picking up speed as they descended.

The pilot of Unit 02 didn't get a very good look at the length of the shaft but she was certain that when they hit the bottom that it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. Once again, she tried to stop their fall by forcing Unit 02 to take the position it did before the Angel appeared but, with Unit 01's weight, she still continued to fall.

"Shit!"

She didn't know what to do at all. The situation was hopeless. None of the training she had stated what to do when you were falling with another Evangelion on top of you.

Even if they both were falling, she knew the impact wouldn't kill them but she worried about the acid that was probably still on Unit 01's back eating away at the organic machine.

She momentarily wondered what would of happened if Shinji was in her position.

'He would have been paying attention and killed the damn thing before it could drop so much acid on me…' Asuka thought as she looked at Unit 01 who stared back at her.

For a moment, she could have sworn that it narrowed its eyes. Not only did it indeed narrow its eyes, Unit 01 also fully extended its arms and legs causing it to slowly skid to a stop but Unit 02 continued to fall.

Asuka, now aware that the extra weight was off her, forced Unit 02 to do the same but she could tell the ground was getting closer so she braced for the impact that was sure to come.

Even if she was certain it was probably going to hurt a bit, she was relieved that Shinji was at least able to give her a sign he was alright but the feeling of Unit 01 watching her fall was one that she didn't want to have again.

The impact that the pilot of Unit 02 was waiting on never came and, if it did, it was just a slight bump. Opening her eyes to see what happened, Asuka could make out the image of a single red orb staring back at her.

There was no denying it. Rei caught her.

Gracefully, Unit 00 let the Evangelion on the ground and looked up, "He is falling." Rei stated as she prepared for another catch.

Without a word, both of the girls waited as the purple Evangelion quickly fell towards them. Suddenly the entry plug was bathed in red light as the number display indicated that they didn't have much time left, "Damn… not now." Asuka muttered as Unit 01 neared the bottom.

While it wasn't as graceful a catch as the one Unit 00 made alone, both Unit 00 and Unit 02 caught the Evangelion andwere able to see how its back looked. As the timer in their entry plugs dwindled down to zero, both Asuka and Rei was able to see exactly how corrosive the acid was…

Lately

Hospitals made Hikari feel uncomfortable.

Not only because of the various instruments the doctors used on their patients or the quiet, cool environment but also because of the fact that it was a place where a lot of sick people resided. Many of them already on the brink of dead, and some of them were already there.

Another thing she didn't like was how the doctors and nurses seemed so familiar with Shinji, "Almost like he was here often…" Hikari said to no one in particular as she walked the hall looked for the right room number.

It didn't take long to find the room but it wasn't because she noticed the room number. What she noticed was a person who was very hard to notice given her soft blue hair and red eyes.

Rei Ayanami, her classmate and one of the pilots, stood outside the room and seemed to be standing guard. Most would have probably been intimidated, but Hikari simply walked up to her, "Hello Rei."

"Hello Miss Horaki." She formally replied.

Hikari was surprised to see Rei of all people actually waiting outside the room. In a moment, she could recall all the times she tried to befriend the girl but only to be turned down by polite no's. It wasn't that she was as cold as people say or unfriendly, she just kept to herself.

"How is he?" Hikari asked as she stood beside her classmate outside the room.

"Shinji is… in good health."

She nodded but noticed something, "You called him by his first name?"

"Yes."

Hikari found the floor to be quite interesting as she looked down, "You're not… with him are you?"

"I do not understand."

She blushed, "Are you… romantically involved?"

Rei was a very frank and honest person and, when she didn't answer right away, Hikari was sure she was going to say a pretty straightforward 'Yes' until she opened her mouth to speak, "No, Shinji is my friend."

Hikari smiled, "Can I be your friend too?"

Rei calmly looked at her, "I was under the impression you considered me a friend."

She nodded as she felt a laugh about to come, "I'm not asking can I view you as a friend, I'm asking will you see me as one."

The door opened before she could speak and a nurse looked at the girls. Seeing that the girl was still here, she left the door open as she made her exit, "You can go back in now."

Rei nodded as she entered the room with Hikari, who closed the door, following her.

It was a simple hospital room. Besides the lights, only a bed, a window, and an adjustable table were inside. The bed was positioned close enough to window to provide a view but the only thing you could really see was the tree that was blocking the way.

However, the single occupant of the room looked out that window with a distant look in his eyes.

"Shinji?" Hikari said drawing his attention to her.

He sat up in the bed, "Hikari? W-Who told you I was here?"

She sighed. It was hard getting the information out of Asuka but she made her swear not to tell Shinji she told her since the boy made her promisenot to. Even though she knew he didn't want her to know since she would be worried, she didn't like the fact that he wanted her to be ignorant of the fact that he was hurt.

"I heard some people talking about a pilot being in the hospital and I just so happened to see Rei here and since the two you haven't been at school…"

Wide eyed, he turned to Rei, "You stayed here all three days?"

She looked back at him directly in the eye, "Yes."

He could half remember waking up to find Rei standing at his side but dismissed it as a dream but to think she would have stayed with him so long. Shinji looked down, "You… you didn't have to do that for me Rei."

"I wanted to." She softly said as she stepped closer to the bed.

It was true. She was with him every since the defeat of the Angel. Even now, she could recall how thankful she was that the acid didn't reach the entry plug. The power came back on just in time and they were able to get him treated.

"Thank you." He whispered.

With that, the more recent topic of having a romantic relationship with her friend seemed more and more promising but, given that she still didn't understand that kind of relationship yet, it was not something she wanted to exactly rush into. Nevertheless, she was just content with being his friend, "You're welcome."

Rei turned to Hikari who stood behind her. Not only was the girl's relationship with Shinji cloudy but, because of it, she was unsure of how to proceed on advancing her relationship with him if she desired as much.

With logic judging her actions, the azure-haired girl's thoughts started to surface as Hikari moved towards the side of Shinji's bed. From Rei's point of view, Miss Horaki was a burden to Shinji. Even if her intentions were well intended and meant no harm, she was obviously another source of pressure. It was almost like with the Major in the fact that she did put stress on her friend except she had no authority and wasn't a part of NERV so the scenario was entirely different.

That didn't give her reason to act against her but it did mean that Miss Horaki was one she would not consider a friend.

Rei wanted to observe the visit but she had matters at NERV to attend to. Making an about face, she quietly walked away was about to slip out of the room till Shinji called out to her.

"Thanks again Rei." He said with a small smile spread across his face.

With a blush starting to creep on her cheeks, she nodded before she walked out and left Hikari and Shinji alone.

"How have you been coming along here?" She asked, breaking the silence that fell after Rei's exit.

"Alright… the doctor told me that I have some nerve damage in my lower back so I won't have any feeling there for a while. It's not a problem since I can still move though," He looked up at her, "How have you been Hikari?"

"I… ended things with Touji."

"Huh? Why?" Shinji asked honestly wondering what happened.

"It was a misunderstanding. We're friends, but were not that close of friends but I came here to see how you were doing Shinji," She put her hands on the rails of the bed, "I got worried when you and Rei didn't come to school."

"I'm alright… really and I'll listen if you want to talk about it."

Hikari suddenly noticed that it wasn't any chairs to sit on. Noticing what she was looking for, Shinji pointed out that she could sit on the table if she wanted to, "He felt guilty so he wanted to help in any way he could so he thought being with me would make me happy." She started.

"It's not that I wasn't happy, it was just that it felt so… so hollow. I could tell that he wasn't being himself but it's the fact that I think I changed him that bothers me the most." Hikari stated, "And I think I'm changing you too Shinji."

Her brown eye stared at him, "You're overworking yourself."

"I'm not…"

"I think I might move in with father and my sisters." She softly said as she looked down at Shinji who had shock written across his face.

She wanted to stay but not at the expense of changing the people important to her. The pilot and jock she was familiar with was becoming different people before her eyes and even now she wasn't certain if Touji was changing for the better or not but she was certain of one thing.

It was her fault that Shinji was becoming so focused on his job as a pilot and, even if a small part of her was glad that he even wanted to pilot, she didn't want to even think of the things that could happen to him.

Her own guilt was not a factor in her leaving. It was the idea that it would be good for both Touji and Shinji.

"Don't…" He softly said, unable to look her in the face, "Don't leave."

"Shinji…"

He looked up at her, his eyes pleading with her, "Please, I don't mean to sound selfish but I…"

He paused, "I need you Hikari. I swear I'll protect you no matter what Angel comes. Even if I have to sortie in front of your house or sacrifice Unit 01, I swear I won't let you be hurt anymore."

"That's what I'm talking about Shinji!" Hikari unconsciously wrapped her hands around the rails of his bed, "I don't want you getting hurt because of me. Think of yourself."

"I'm trying my best! I just want you to be safe!" He exclaimed before noticing the soft smile on her face.

Shinji wasn't sure what that smile meant, but, given his reply to her statements, he was about to apologize until she started to speak.

"I'm the only person you raise your voice at." She leaned over the rail as she continued to grin.

"I'm sorry…" He said, not meaning to yell at her.

"You don't have to apologize, it's a sign that you care Shinji," Hikari's smile put him at ease as he lay back down.

"I'll see you later Shinji."

"Hikari, I meant it…"

She was about to retort until the door flew open and Asuka made her grand entrance. Marching all the way up to the side of the bed, his roommate stood with her hands on her hips, "Shinji you idiot! I thought you were going to die!" She stated in front of him as she remembered how bleak his future looked when she seen the back of Unit 01.

When the acid was cleaned off, she discovered that Unit 01 actually had bones.

He cringed, "I'm sorry."

"Anyway," Asuka said, seeing that her roommate was okay given his reaction, "Misato is here to pick you up and… the Angel has been spotted."

"Asuka…" Shinji pointed at Hikari.

The red-haired girl looked over her shoulder, "Doesn't matter, it's not like the Commander will kill us because a civilian knows the Angel is in orbit."

Shinji sighed, "You never know what father might do…"

With that said he motioned to get up but, in an instant, Hikari was on the side of the bed, "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving."

"What about your rest?"

Shinji thought for a while before replying, "I… wasn't tired."

"You were just about to go to sleep though." Hikari pointed out.

Asuka threw his clothes on the bed, "I'll be in the car." She didn't have the time to listen to Shinji tell bad lies and then try to weasel out of them.

"I'm not tired…" Shinji pulled back the sheets so he could get up, "You should probably get to a shelter before the alarm sounds."

No matter how much she wanted to stop him, she knew she couldn't. Hikari nodded as he started to take off the gown so he could put on his shirt.

"Hikari…"

"Yea," She said as she turned around, hiding a blush as he slid his pants on.

"Thank you… for caring."

-

A will left the things you owned to the people you cared for. No matter how trivial or important, the width or length, the color or shape, or wrong or right, the things you left behind would belong to those still living.

It was funny that by a small thin piece of paper that you would be talking to people after your death but, at the same time, it was like waving a white flag before the war even started.

To even place the pen on the paper would be an open admission of your defeat and Shinji was not going to make that admission as he set his pen down.

"I don't need one Misato." He said out loud, as he started to walk towards the cages.

It wasn't often that Shinji acted with such confidence so, when he did, the Major had to double check to see if she was day dreaming or not. Not that she doubted he was capable of surviving. It was just the fact that her charge was on fire with determination even if this was almost a suicide mission.

'The MAGI only gave it a thirty-one percent chance of working…' Misato thought as she nodded at Shinji.

Asuka finished her will and set the pen aside. She heard Shinji and, although she would never outright say it, she admired the fact that he was for once confident enough in his ability to believe that he wouldn't die or even be hurt.

"Alright, with Asuka finish we can start." Misato said, already knowing that Rei finished before Shinji and Asuka, "We'll carry out the mission when the Angel enters the atmosphere. Board the Evas and get in position."

A collective 'Yes ma'am' echoed through the room.

-

To Shinji, the walk to the entry plugs and the actual time it took to get in position lasted much longer than they told him it did. Even if he didn't leave a will, he still had doubts about the mission.

He shook his head in the LCL in a sad attempt to clear his mind.

He couldn't fail.

Recalling what he did when the will was positioned in front of him, Shinji made a list, not of the things he wanted to leave behind, but of all the people he ever came into contact with.

Needless to say, it was a long list. All types of people were included. It ranged from Ritsuko to Kensuke, Gendo to Maya, Pen-pen to Kaji, and he even counted the people he didn't even know.

Signing that will was, in a sense, saying that he failed everyone on that list and Shinji Ikari was determined to not be at fault for hurting anyone every again.

He gripped the controls tighter. He would protect everyone on that list from Hikari and Mari who he already failed to his father who probably already hated him.

Like a sprinter, Unit 01 kneeled down and almost looked like it was ready to enter a relay race. Misato came up with the idea that they were to run, full speed, towards the planned epicenter and catch the Angel before it landed. Seeing that it would take a lot of space for any of the massive machines to gain that kind of speed, the Major chose the longest streets she could and hoped that at least one of them could make it so the others could later assist.

Suddenly, a yawn escaped his mouth as Shinji patiently waited for the order to act.

He was extremely tired.

'I'm not pushing myself,' He thought as he looked for sight of the Angel, 'Besides it's not like I can go to sleep when an Angel is about to attack…'

"Three!"

Shinji's eyes snapped to the com-link as he noticed the face of guardian. Misato was quickly counting down the time to move out as she looked at her watch, "Two!"

Unit 01's foot scrapped against the asphalt as Shinji listened for the order, "One!"

"Go!"

Thick chucks of asphalt and concrete rose in the air as Unit 01 tore up the road with each step. With thoughts of not only the burdens he carried but also the lives of everyone in Tokyo-3 on his mind, Shinji willed the Evangelion to move faster.

Like a purple tornado, everything in Unit 01's path was torn apart as it ran as fast as it could. The Evangelion's speed couldn't be measured by normal means as it sped across the city.

For a moment, speed was the only thing on his mind and it was easy to tell as the giant, violet colored Evangelion simply turned into a dark purple blur with a green streak. If it was tearing up the path before, it was now destroying it.

As the sight of the descending Angel came into sight, Shinji quickly remembered the reason for the running and, by some act of God, forced Unit 01 to move even faster.

Skidding to a stop like an ice skater, Unit 01 squeezed between the small gap of space that was between the Angel and ground and expanded his AT field.

Unit 01 flexed as it lifted the Angel, "I d-did it M-Misato." Shinji muttered as he fought to keep the Angel above him.

"Good! Rei will be there when?" He watched the raven-haired woman turn to someone on the side of her, "She should be getting there about now."

Unit 00 elegantly came to a halt beside him and used its AT field to assist Unit 01 in holding the Angel up. Shinji breathed out a sigh of relief as Unit 01 fully stood up with its arms fully stretched as it and the blue Evangelion beside it held the Angel up.

"Did… Did Unit 02 trip or something?" Shinji honestly asked, now finding it easier to speak now that he had some help.

"Don't say stupid things idiot!" Asuka yelled as Unit 02 neared the Angel with its progressive knife at the ready.

Without an order even needing to be issued, Unit 02 drove the knife into the Angel's core and another victory was granted to NERV when the monster exploded.

Shinji leaned backwards in the entry plug as Unit 01 kneeled on the ground, "We did it…"

Strangely, the boy almost thought it funny since he thought he was going to trip himself. When he forced Unit 01 to run he didn't realize the fact that it would feel completely different because of the nerve damage in his back

He didn't care about that now at all though. Shinji was more than satisfied with the fact that the mission was carried out with no problems at all and he could finally go to sleep.

"Not that I'm really tired or anything though…"

Even if he said that and probably meant it, the idea of rest didn't seem like such a bad one at all.

-Fin

Author's notes: I wrote this chapter extremely quick…

In other news, the internet will be on next week. o.o

I can't believe you are seriously reading all this stuff though but it makes me happy to know someone is. ;.; I normally would be talking about the story or something right now. ;.;

Well anyway, Shinji and Hikari's relationship looks like it is at a stand-still and Rei is looking like she might hit Shinji up while Hikari is still reviewing her options. Asuka seems to be kind of soft on Shinji also… o.o

Damn, I'm writing this stuff fast.

Chibi Fenrir


	8. Chapter 8

A fight was a terrible thing.

When one had to do away with the spoken word and raised their fist in order to resolve a conflict, nothing positive could become of it. A duel, on the other hand, was something that could be received easier by any of the parties involved. A duel was a pact of honor that one sealed with blood but that didn't change the fact that it was a fight.

Pen-pen narrowed his eyes as he looked as his opponent. Shinji stared back at the warm-water penguin wondering why it looked so mad.

Even if his enemy didn't know it, this was a duel to the penguin and his prize, the fresh fish that made his mouth… well beak water sat waiting for him in the refrigerator.

Pen-pen pressed the button on the controller with his wing and issued the challenge that Shinji accepted quicker than the bird thought he would.

The penguin that stood on the side of Shinji was not stupid. He saw those who have fallen before the boy in battle, his owner one of them, and he was determined to best him and earn his prize.

As the cursor went over the character display, Pen-pen was full of confidence. If the girl could beat the boy then he certainly could.

The match started and Shinji looked at the bird to see what he was doing.

Pen-pen somehow managed to press the direction pad and his character slowly moved forward little by little. When he was in range, the penguin pressed a button and watched the man on the television quickly lift his leg and kick Shinji's character… who blocked.

Alarmed, Pen-pen quickly, well as fast as he could press the button, forced his character to retreat to the side of the screen. A frontal attack wouldn't work, he needed another plan.

The light bulb in his head flicked on as an idea came to mind. Pen-pen almost wanted to laugh as he started to set his plan in motion. He would just move backwards and let the time run out.

What he didn't expect was that Shinji would actually attack him. The woman hauled the sword that was twice her size over her shoulder and slashed the man drawing a sound out of his mouth that certainly didn't sound like anything happy.

Pen-pen was running out of ideas. Shinji was far better than he thought.

"Shinji," Misato yelled from her bedroom, "I'm hungry!"

"I guess I can make her some of that instant ramen she has…" Shinji thought out loud as he started to rise.

Pen-pen's beak dropped open. Shinji was running away from the duel.

That meant that he won by default! The fish was his! Shinji was nothing. With this defeat, he could probably beat the-

The bird's thoughts of victory were broken up by the sound of his character being hit. Pen-pen turned to find Shinji standing with controller in hand.

"Sorry Pen-pen, I have to make this quick." Shinji said as his character started to flash. Before the penguin knew it, his character was sprawled on the ground and knocked out.

"Wark…" Pen-pen hung his head in defeat.

"We can play later sometimes… Don't look so sad about it." Shinji said as he walked towards the kitchen.

The boy did not understand. He was not playing a game but he was right in the fact that he shouldn't be sad. He fought bravely and took his defeat like a real bird.

The sound of a plate dropping on the floor made the penguin jump slightly. Pen-pen turned around and had to shield his eyes from the magnificent sight of the fish that he just got finished fighting for.

For a moment, he considered pushing it away…

"You don't want it?" Shinji asked as he blinked, "I thought you looked a bit hungry."

The penguin let out a 'Wark' and picked the fish up. It was no shame in taking his prize despite his defeat.

It wasn't any shame in taking the fish not because he was hungry, but because he would win someday.

Lately

Asuka Langely Sohryu was a very brash person and she took pride in the fact that she didn't have to pussyfoot around sensitive subjects like most of her classmates. If she had something on her mind she would say it and, if she felt someone was doing her wrong, she would correct them.

It was as simple as that.

Even if that was true, there were exceptions to almost every statement and every rule.

Asuka leaned on the railing as she looked at the sky. She never really admired the view from the roof of the school before and, since it was her first time up here, she took a good look at the cloudless sky.

Even if the day was indeed beautiful, even more beautiful because she was apart of the reason a lot of people were able to see it, it had nothing to do with the subject she was currently talking about.

"It's good he decided to take a day off for once." Hikari said as she sat with her back against the railing.

Asuka didn't have any problem with talking about Shinji but it was a question that was nagging at her that she just couldn't ask the boy himself. It was a question that bothered her to the point where she had to ask.

"Hey Hikari," Asuka turned around and eyed the girl who looked up from her lunch, "Have… Have you kissed Shinji before?"

It was a good thing she wasn't eating because she probably would have chocked, "Huh?" She asked with a confused look on her face almost certain that she didn't just hear Asuka ask her if she kissed Shinji before.

"I wanted to know if you kissed Shinji."

Hikari set her lunch aside for the moment, "I figured you didn't just come up here to spend some quality time with me." She smiled as she filtered though her memories of being with Shinji and only one instance came to mind.

It was during the time when they returned to school. Before lunch ended, she was taking Shinji down the hall and, before she knew what happened, she was close to him.

The freckled girl raised her hand to her lips as she remembered that her lips actually did brush across Shinji's and she probably would have kissed him if they weren't interrupted.

It wouldn't have been that big a deal to her, but she didn't know how Shinji would have been affected if she actually kissed him back then. If she did kiss him then… she wondered if she would have broken things off with Touji way sooner than she did.

Again, Hikari reviewed the scene in her mind before she issued her answer, "No…"

She watched Asuka relax when she finally answered her question.

Hikari was fairly good at reading the men in her life but, when it came to girls, she wasn't certain in her ability at reading people at all. She honestly couldn't tell how Asuka felt about Shinji.

One moment, she seemed to hate being around him and, the next, they both seemed to be in a sort of harmony with each other.

Yes… Harmony was the right word Hikari decided as she thought about how Asuka interacted with Shinji. Sometimes, even if she wasn't around to see it, the roommates just connected with each other in a way that didn't fit either of them but at the same time did.

It was almost like a compromise. It was like they traded traits with each other when they were in each other's company and that only added to the list of things they already had in common.

Hikari sighed. Asking Asuka about her relationship with Shinji wouldn't at all be as easy as it was with Rei. Not because of how she acted, but because she was actually scared that the answer might be one she didn't want to hear.

Shinji was close to her and the thought of Asuka taking him away didn't come to her favor at all.

"You like him?"

Asuka, to her credit, didn't even tense up, "Yea… I like him." She admitted openly.

It was tough coming to the realization that she actually did like her roommate and did want to be closer to him. All her life, Asuka was never one to stand in someone's shadow but she honestly didn't mind Shinji protecting her in the least bit.

She didn't even know what sparked her interest in Shinji. Maybe it was when she realized that he was hurt because he protected her from the acid. Maybe it was when she heard that Kaji was taking Misato out later today. Maybe it was the way Wondergirl looked at him.

Asuka was confused. Every time she tried to sort out her feelings she only ended up with a pool of mixed thoughts and feelings that didn't make the situation any better than it was before.

She was sure of one thing though.

Shinji was important to her.

"I'm… glad." Hikari finally said as she returned to her lunch.

She was glad but at the same time, she wasn't. With that admission, Asuka voiced to the world how she felt and, at the same time, batted Hikari down. Asuka probably didn't even mean to do it intentionally but by forming a relationship with him, she was cutting his ties to Hikari.

Thankfully, Hikari wasn't as dense as Shinji when it came to matters of the heart. She realized that Rei and Asuka was slowly, but surely, pulling Shinji away from her.

'Yea… I'm glad they care but I still want to be with him.' She thought as she sat her bento aside, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore.

"Can you tell me some more things about him?"

The soft tone she used caused Hikari to look at the girl behind her. She still looked the same but it was something different about her. The pilot looked back at her patiently waiting for her reply.

"Sure." She answered, wondering how she was going to tell Asuka some things she didn't know about the boy she lived with.

"Shinji tries too hard to please people and, because of that, he is pushes himself a lot. He… doesn't have a lot of self-confidence so he apologizes even when he's not at fault and…" Hikari trailed off as she realized she could go on and on.

This was something she didn't want to share with anyone else. She didn't want to describe his shortcomings in detail to the girl who was probably going to be with him.

It didn't matter though. She didn't have to view Asuka or Rei as a rival for Shinji.

Before she was about to get up to leave Asuka shot out another question, overlooking the fact that Hikari didn't entirely answer the last one, "What's something you didn't talk to him about?"

Hikari smoothed the wrinkles out of her school uniform as she stood up, "His mother… I happened to bring up my mother's cooking one day, I saw his expression, and I never brought up the topic again." She quickly said remembering to this day how sad he looked.

Asuka set her eyes on a cloud, "Think he will talk to me about her?"

The pilot knew she was sensitive about her own mother and didn't even want to remember the things that happened but she didn't have any idea how Shinji felt about his mother even if he obviously disowned by his father.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw a serious Hikari for the first time. The girl's facial features were as soft as they usually were but her single brown eye was lacking any amusement.

The red-haired girl turned back around, she didn't intend to but it was obvious she offended the girl by asking the question. The thing about it was that she didn't care if she insulted her.

Her apathy was to the point where she didn't give a damn if the girl walked off without answering her question. As Asuka watched the cloud slowly sail across the horizon, Hikari's feelings were the last thing on her mind.

Even if she didn't care about Hikari that didn't mean she didn't care about her relationship with her roommate. If she was with him it meant she couldn't be with him so she would deter her if she felt she had to and that was what she was planning on doing before she took the step up here.

One thing she didn't know how to take the first step to was her confession. Asuka might have been frank with anything other than telling the person she thought she hated how she actually felt about him.

"I was laughing about him telling me how he felt but now…" She trailed off knowing that she couldn't tell him yet. She had to wait till she an acceptable way of showing her affection came and then let it become known to not just Shinji but everyone.

"I'm gonna tell him... later..." She promised herself.

-

The bow slid across the strings and the soft sound of the D string flowed over the room. Carefully positioning his fingers to play the notes, Shinji recalled the notes that were on the sheet music he memorized and played a song for the first time since he was over his Uncle's house.

Shinji drew his arm back and forth as he played the sad song to perfection. Every note was played and the solemn mood of the song was known as the pilot adjusted himself so that he was sitting straight.

The penguin that watched him probably would have been moved to tears had he not already been silently crying. Pen-pen suffered defeat after painful defeat to Shinji and wouldn't dare to even try him, even in another form of compition, again.

Shinji's concentration was slightly broken and it could be seen as a flat G was played when he noticed that his feathered friend was still crying. Nevertheless, he kept playing. Making a mental note that the ending was coming up, he put more pressure on the bow and drew out the loudest sound he could. He smiled as he gradually lifted pressure off the bow causing the sound to become softer and softer as the song ended.

The sound of clapping behind him almost caused him to fall out of his seat.

"That was pretty good." Asuka said as her clapping came to a stop.

"T-Thanks," Shinji quickly replied, "I didn't even know you were here."

Asuka wouldn't say it but she intended to get in without him seeing her. She didn't want to speak or even see him before she sorted her feelings about him out, but, when she saw him playing, she couldn't help but stop and at least give him the praise he was due.

The boy set his cello and bow aside as he got up, "Misato and Kaji left not to long ago. Since they were going out to eat, I was thinking it would be alright if I made dinner early."

She sighed. He had to remind her of that…

Asuka was certain of her feelings for the sly man that always had something to say to the ladies but now she was even starting to doubt if she actually liked him like that. Kaji was extremely likeable but it wasn't his charm or wit that drew Asuka to him.

'Maybe…' The redhead thought as she leaned against the door frame, 'Maybe I liked him since I knew I didn't have a chance.'

As quickly as that thought entered her mind, she dismissed it and forgot it as Shinji brushed passed her to get to the kitchen. Even if it was like that, that didn't mean it was the same with her roommate.

"Wait." Asuka ordered.

The moment the command left her mouth, Shinji froze, "What?"

Her sharp blue eyes looked him down, "I got a personal question."

Shinji started to blush and quickly started to explain, "S-See what had h-happened…" He stuttered, the incident that occured when washing the clothes started to come to mind.

He cringed when Asuka raised her fist and took a step forward. Not even getting a chance to blink, his roommate's palm collided with the wall on the side of his head. She didn't need to speak for Shinji to know she was completely serious about what she had to ask.

"Shinji… I-"

The phone rung and interrupted her. Shinji motioned to answer it but Asuka was already blocking him off as she stepped towards the ringing device.

She picked up the receiver and answered with an annoyed 'Hello'.

Just as quickly as she picked it up, she was about to hang it up until Shinji looked over her shoulder, "Who is it?"

Asuka bit her lip as she thought about the best course of action to take and it didn't take long as she handed him the phone. She watched his expression as he found out that the caller was, of course, Hikari.

Complete shock registered on his face as he greeted her and heard the news that the girl made short to her.

Hikari was leaving Tokyo-3.

Asuka was the last person who gave a damn but her roommate obviously didn't share the same sentiments. The receiver slid out of his hand and dangled off the hook as the boy made his way to the door, "I'll make dinner when I get back…and I'll answer the question you had."

Before she even got a chance to say anything, the door shut behind him.

-

They were standing outside her house. Well to be exact, the jock was standing and nervously walking from side to side while Hikari sat on the steps. Even if she felt better about having him see her off, she didn't like him trying to stop her from leaving.

"Hikari listen to me!" Touji yelled, "I ain't changed, I'm still da same person I always was!"

He didn't understand what she was talking about in the least. Every since she told him at school that she was leaving tonight, he has been with Hikari trying to plead his case but he wasn't getting far at all.

As a matter of fact, he didn't care if she was changing him. Hell, she could change him into a clown but it still didn't mean she had to leave.

"So you would be Kensuke's boyfriend if he got hurt?" Hikari asked, her brown eye filled with insight. When Touji worked his mouth, but ended up just shaking his head, Hikari smiled, "Thought so."

"Alright…" The jock whispered in defeat, "Can ya at least explain to me why before you go?"

"I'm… hurting you by staying here and hurting you hurts me too."

Touji stood directly in front of her, "I'm not hurt!"

Hikari pulled her knees up to her chest, "Then why can't you look me in the eye?"

In light of the scar that symbolized how petty he truly was, the boy cowered away. That single scar not only represented his failure as a man but also as a friend and, worst of all, he knew he was at fault.

If he and Kensuke didn't go to the roof to see the Angel then Hikari never would have been involved. Of course he was angry at Shinji, but in time he came to realized that he was just doing what he had to do.

Touji looked away as he backed up, "I'm sorry…"

"That's what I'm talking about." Hikari said, "I know how it is…"

"Hikari!" A figure yelled as they emerged out of the darkness of the night. Finally falling under the streetlight, Shinji made his presence known as he doubled over and started to pant.

His classmates stared at him as he recovered enough to speak, "Don't… Don't go."

Not wanting to see another fail in what he had already tried, Touji started to walk away. Shinji eyed him warily as he neared him but, much to Hikari's relief, nothing happened except for a mutter of words.

"Good luck…" Touji said as he walked off into the night with his hands in his pockets.

The pilot looked over his shoulder at the boy he thought hated him, "Thanks…"

Little did either of the boys know that the hate they thought they shared with each other never existed in the first place. Shinji didn't at all blame Touji for being mad at him since he fully understood that someone would be angry when the people close to them get injured and Touji didn't hate the pilot at all.

Touji was simply upset that his sister and his friend were hurt but at the root of his anger was envy. He wanted to be able to protect his friends and family and knowing that Shinji could do it by just jumping in some robot didn't make him feel good at all. He simply found that hate was a word strong enough to convey all of those feelings at the same time.

The tragedy was the fact that they possibly could have been the best of friends had they solved their differences.

Shinji, however, did not have that in mind as he looked at the boxes beside Hikari that were filled with the stuff she was bringing with her. It was then that he realized that in his rush to get here that he didn't actually think of a way to stop her from leaving.

"Hello Shinji."

The casual way in which she spoke made it sound like she was greeting him at a mall instead of saying it before her ride came. The pilot stood straight up as the fatigue finally left him, "Hikari…"

She stood up, "You didn't have to come. I know you're-"

"I… I love you Hikari."

He said it and she heard him.

Like a breeze, the statement was sudden but still soft and comforting. It was not said with ease Hikari noticed by his hesitation but that didn't change the fact that it was said.

Interestingly enough, the one that faltered was not the Hikari. Shinji almost had to rub his eyes to believe the sight in front of him.

It was a smile.

Not to be mistaken with her usual smile, it was a brilliant one that lit his soul. It was one that was on par with the smile Rei gave him after he opened her entry plug.

Hikari stood with her head slightly tilted and a happy smile like no other graced her face. In the middle of the night, Shinji thought he was going to melt in presence of something so grand but, what made him feel even better was the fact that he finally said it.

It took a lot of courage. By no means was it a greater feat than defeating Angels, but it ranked up there.

"I know."

She knew it all along. He didn't have to voice it.

"I don't want you to leave…" Shinji said as he moved closer to her.

Hikari sighed, "I already told Touji. I'm leaving."

She wished the conversation could have stayed light hearted and could have ended with a simple goodbye because she didn't want to point out to him why she had to.

"What do I have to do to make you stay?" He asked.

"What if I said nothing?" Hikari almost corrected herself seeing that it sounded harsh but that was exactly what she wanted to say. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but she had to make it clear that she was leaving.

"What…" He looked down at his feet, "What if I said I'll do anything?"

"Like what?" Hikari asked amused despite the situation.

His expression got brighter, "Anything!"

The amusement in the girl was replaced with the importance of what she had in mind, "Can you answer a question for me?"

Shinji nodded. He was willing to do anything to make her stay. She didn't know how important she really was. If she left then he wouldn't be able to even pilot knowing that the person he failed the most left the place he was doing his best to protect.

"Shinji, do you remember your first kiss?"

Not quite being one to deal with matters of that nature, Shinji almost instantly blushed not at all expecting the question that he was asked, "Well… yea."

"It was when we were at school… and we got interrupted."

Hikari blinked, "That wasn't a kiss."

Confused, Shinji scratched his head, "It wasn't…?"

"Come here Shinji." His classmate said as she pushed open the door.

Following her like she instructed, Shinji walked into her house and was surprised when she closed the door behind him. The click of the lock surprised him even more than the slamming of the door, "Hikari?"

"I don't know what I was thinking," She admitted, "I… It's not fair."

With concern governing his actions, Shinji moved to approach her, "What's wrong Hikari?

She didn't want to do it but she had to confront these feelings.

Everyone had secrets they stored away in the back of their minds. It was those things that couldn't be forgotten but still couldn't be brought out in fear of what would happen and it was one of those things that stood before the scarred girl.

Of course she loved Shinji but being with him wassomething completely different. How could she compare to Asuka or Rei?

Asuka lived with him and was so lively and sure of how she felt. Rei was quietly serious about her friendship and was so mature. Both of the girls were pilots and both of them had qualities that stood out that made all kinds of people like them.

What did she have? If it wasn't for the fact that she got hurt then Shinji wouldn't even trouble himself with her and Touji would have kept overlooking her.

Mari was the holder of Touji's attention and she knew that every since the incident and probably before given how important his sister was to him. Shinji seemed to have everything going right for him for once. He actually laughed when he was with Asuka and he could casually talk with Rei. Classmates that originally disliked his quiet personality came to not mind it as much as they once did and the people that blamed him for things were beginning to understand.

Everyone around her was walking forward while she silently stood watching their backs. She was the only person who was stuck in the same place and couldn't help her situation.

Yea, she knew fully well she changed Touji and Shinji but in that she realized that she changed as well. No longer was she the pig-tailed giggly schoolgirl that had a crush on one of her friends. She was a confused girl who was pulling those closest to her down.

Hikari locked the door not to signal that he had no escape but in order to make sure she didn't run away. She was going to stand here and tell him how she felt right now. She was going to confide in him for once and didn't care what happened afterwards.

Her hand slid off the door knob, "Have I ever told you I was sorry?"

"For what?" He asked still half way confused, "You… You never did anything to me."

She sniffed but her back was facing him. Uncertain to rather she was crying or not, he hoped she wasn't merely because he couldn't even picture the girl before him crying. Hikari was his definition of self-confidence. She was sure of everything she did and acted knowing what she had in mind would succeed.

When she turned around, the image of her crying was made more real in his mind as the tears streaked down her face, "You're important to me but all I do is drag you out and-"

"N-No! You… I mean," Shinji adverted his eyes, "I don't want to make you cry."

She rubbed at her eye, "I'm sorry Shinji."

"Hikari… You don't have to say sorry to me."

Like glass, she was so fragile and that fact proved true as she fell into his arms. Carefully placing his arms around her to support her weight against him, Shinji was about to think she passed out until she started to speak.

"I'm sorry for all of-"

"Please," He kindly started and interrupted her again, "Don't say it…"

With that, they fell into a peaceful silence besides the occasional sniff from the girl against his chest. Shinji leaned on the wall and Hikari looked up at him. Easily shuffling out of his arms, she raised her mouth closer to his and he offered no resistance this time.

Before the kiss was initiated, she whispered a question.

"Can you… tell me about your mother?"

She missed her taxi.

-Fin

Author's Story:

Chibi looks over his shoulder at his sister, "Excuse me miss, did I just write this?"

"The fuck? Don't ask me stupid stuff!"

Chibi catches the righteous beatdown.

Author's Notes:

Wow, every thing is going right for Shinji. o.o

Eleven Angels down, Touji doesn't really want to kill him, and Hikari is loving on him? Life is wonderful! Atlast, my friends… isn't this the point where everything starts to go wrong?

With thoughts of the end of this going on Nightshift, let's move to the next chapter!

Chibi Fenrir


	9. Chapter 9

Hate.

A feeling, at it peak, so passionate that words couldn't begin to describe it and thoughts couldn't begin to comprehend it. While saying that it was an overused word that lost much of its meaning was true, the feeling that was related to it was as strong as ever.

Hate was like a flame that wouldn't go out. It was a fire that raged no matter the retardant that was used and a fire that commonly consumed anything that threaten it. Hate was not a memory that faded with time or a feeling that was tucked away and hidden from people. It was something that stayed with you… something you carried with you everywhere. It was a reminder of that the thing or person that did you wrong would get what they deservedsomeday and it was the sole truth that a lot of people needed as reason to act.

The dark flame inside Asuka flicked as she walked to school.

Of course Asuka didn't like a lot of people. She knew that sometimes you just didn't get along with people and sometimes people just didn't see eye to eye, but this was rare. Even if it wasn't a first, the black fire that was hatred was the light on Asuka's candle.

With Rei and Misato, it was just a common dislike.

Rei… Rei was just someone she didn't like for general purpose and she could work with Misato at times but that didn't change the fact she was with Kaji.

Hikari, on the other hand, took Shinji right from under her.

She remembered how Shinji took off in the middle of the night to go and chase after her just because she said she was leaving. Strangely enough, that fact wasn't the one that bothered her the most.

It was the fact that he again passed by her to get to Hikari.

Asuka walked to school looking as mellow as ever despite her dark thoughts. Her briefcase occasionally but lightly brushed across her leg as she walked but she paid that little attention as her light blue eyes looked straight ahead. Her calm appearance was completely offset by the piecing glare in her eyes and the various people who she passed by could even tell that she was not one to be bothered.

Even with the random people cowering around her, someone made the mistake of speaking to her, "Hey Asuka!"

Shinji waved at her from up the street and the questions she had for him sprung to mind. She all but marched up to him and was about to start her interrogation until she noticed the arms draped across him. Even from the distance, she could see the thin arms of a girl holding him from behind and, unexpectedly, she didn't have that many questions to ask anymore.

As she neared, the arms withdrew from around his frame and the girl she hated came into view.

She was angry but Asuka easily kept it in check as she walked up to Shinji and Hikari, "Misato is mad at you idiot... She'll want to talk to you later."

Noticing that she seemed a bit tired, Shinji unconsciously tried to move closer to her but was stopped by Hikari. All the things they talked about last night came to mind but Shinji still had to ask, "Asuka, are you feeling alright?" He asked as she walked directly passed both of them causing her to stop.

With her crystal blue eye glaring over her shoulder directly at Hikari, Asuka didn't blink as she answered, "I'm doing just fine…"

Lately

Love.

A feeling that, while hard to describe since it varied from person to person, was welcomed by all who got a chance to become familiar with it. It was a feeling that people didn't have to talk about. It was exactly what it was, a feeling.

It wrapped around you like a coat and kept you warm no matter how cold you were and it was something that made things bright even in complete darkness. It was a connection between two people in the form of friendship and, on a greater level, marriage.

Hikari was a person who did not try to understand the complexities of love but, at the same time, understood it enough to take comfort in what the feeling provided.

The freckled girl knew many forms of love and could easily recognize them. Her friendship with Touji, the love she shared with her sisters and father, but what she felt for Shinji was equal to the love she had for her family and friends but somehow greater.

She chose Shinji share everything with. Not only the happiness had she shared with friends and the personal things with family but something more.

Hikari smiled as Shinji walked ahead of her when they stepped into school.

He wasn't walking away from her, he was right in front of her walking at a pace that wouldn't separate them but still gave them enough distance. It was almost laughable that he would go that far but she simply continued to smile seeing how considerate Shinji was.

On a more personal note, Shinji was hers now.

Yes, the boy she, four or five months ago, was telling it would be better to not be seen together was now the person who was the closest to her. Shinji was the person she confided in and he was the person who protected her, but, more importantly, he was the person she wanted to be this close with.

Hikari didn't want to chain Shinji down but instead help him up. She wanted him to tell her when he needed help and let her be the one to provide it.

Even if she probably changed him, it didn't seem to be for the worst.

Shinji looked over his shoulder to see if she was still behind him as they entered the classroom. With a soft smile on his face, he slid the door to the classroom back and waited for her to enter.

Yea, it didn't seem to be so bad a change at all.

With that they parted and, before the teacher entered, she moved to her seat. Before she got a chance to sit down, her eye landed on Asuka who looked back up at her. Hikari simply blinked and took her seat.

As teacher walked in, Mitsuki addressed the class, "Stand. Bow. Sit." She commanded and watched as the class followed.

Hikari eased back into her seat, the dangerous look Asuka had still on her mind. She wasn't ignoring Asuka it was just the fact that she didn't like the girl who sat behind her. Of course, it didn't go to the point of hate. It wasn't even a mild dislike, it was just she didn't like her closeness to Shinji or the way she acted.

"So how was it…?" Asuka's voice flowed into her ear as the Teacher started his tired speech.

She didn't turn around, "I don't know what you are talking about." She whispered back.

"I'm asking if he was a good fuck." The pilot stated just loud enough for the girl in front of her to here, "He didn't come back yesterday."

"Yea, he was." She clearly said taking delight in gasp Asuka made but almost instantly regretting lying to her. She… She didn't want to go that far with him yet. They only kissed and, after that, they talked for a long time.

Shinji was hers now but that didn't mean she had to shove that fact in a girl that liked him face. Giving way to her kindness, she was about to apologize until the siren started to sound.

Hikari turned to Shinji who was already heading for the door. She could picture him as a superhero of some sort. It was like he was quickly running to a place of secrecy so he could rip off his shirt to reveal the symbol on his chest that marked him as the one who would save the day. Her hero briefly took a look at her before he disappeared out of the door with Rei and Asuka following.

0

Asuka felt her hate was fully justified as she changed into her plug suit.

That bitch all the way said she fucked Shinji and she didn't have anything to say back to her. If the cell phone didn't start to vibrate with each ring, she probably would have put her hands around Hikari's neck.

Yea, she liked Shinji. She would be the first to admit her feelings to anyone beside Shinji himself but that didn't mean that she didn't feel bad about the fact that she didn't get the chance to act so that she could actually be the one with him.

Even if Hikari knew she liked her boyfriend, it didn't give her the fucking right to parade around in front of her to show that Shinji was with her now.

It was cool now though. She calmed down.

She wouldn't let her personal life interfere with her piloting.

"Asuka?" A sound came from the other side of the dressing room that the girl realized was Shinji.

"What is it?" She quickly asked, her anger not quite fading

"Um… I'm sorry for not coming back," The curtain the separated the room didn't make it easy to see exactly what he was doing. She could barely see the outline of the boy as he replied, "You said you wanted to ask me something." He reminded her.

'He… remembered.' Her thoughts of Evangelion slowly giving way to the thoughts of her personal life, "I… I wanted to ask you about your mother." She said blushing as she also remembered she was going to confess after she received her answer.

Even though the curtain was between them, she could see Shinji start to scratch his head. She wasn't surprised. It was a very awkward question.

"Hikari asked me that yesterday…"

What little control she had on her anger was nearly lost as she muttered one word.

"What?"

Asuka was determined to keep her cool. She wasn't going to let that bother her. She was going to let it slide like so many other things. Like Shinji's synch ratio being better than hers, like Misato and Kaji getting friendlier, like her getting a call from her step mother… She was just going to let it slide.

"She," He paused like he was unsure if he should continue or not, "She told me that you liked me."

Asuka blinked, her resolve lost in a split second. Her confession? She didn't need it anymore. Finding out something Hikari didn't know about him? Impossible since the girl already asked.

That was the spark. That was all it took to make the pilot of Unit 02 march straight up to the curtain and walk pass it. Shinji was openly surprised and Asuka stepped right in front of him. Close enough that their noses were almost touching, Asuka launched her defense to Hikari obvious attack, "I... I don't like you." She lied, her cool voice laced with anger.

"You…" She continued, her voice almost quivering with rage, "You almost had me worried when you didn't come back and what do I get for wondering where the hell you are? A fucking idiot with a girl's arms around him!" She yelled in his face.

Seeing how she stressed almost, Shinji turned away from his roommate. It was completely understandable that she would be mad when he told her that he would be coming back. With his sight on the ground, he motioned to speak, "Asuka… I-"

"Don't start with that shit!" Asuka cut in, "I fucking hate you and your stupid girlfriend. I don't give a flying damn who you are fucking Third Child."

"I don't care about you."

The statement drove daggers in both of their hearts.

Asuka almost slapped her hand over her mouth after she said it. She honestly didn't mean to take it that far. The part where she was worried that he didn't return was true and of course she was angry when she saw him safe with Hikari's arms wrapped around him but the rest of it was lies… especially the last part.

She… She just didn't want him to know yet. Knowing that Hikari just casually let him know that she liked him just made her upset. She could picture his girlfriend bringing up her feelings and just talking to Shinji about them like it was yesterday's news.

Asuka risked a look at Shinji who couldn't even bring himself to look at her. She could tell by the look on his face that he was hurt and it was her fault.

It was a mistake.

She didn't mean it. She really didn't even intend to hurt him. Asuka wasn't ready for him to know so she had to hide it. She wouldn't be able to look him in the eye if he knew how he made her feel

"Misato… is probably waiting for us." He said as he swiftly moved to the door.

Asuka knew she should have said something. It didn't even have to be an apology, just something to let him know that she regretted saying what she said but, even now, she couldn't let him know.

She couldn't let Shinji know how she felt and it made her sick.

So she watched as he exited the room and didn't do anything. Her sight was concentrated on the door to the extent that she barely noticed the figure that passed her to follow him.

"Shinji," Rei's soft voice called out alerting both Asuka and the boy she intended to stop, "Wait for me."

Asuka watched as Shinji broke his stride just long enough for Rei to catch up and they left her alone.

Yea, it made her sick.

0

The Twelfth Angel was certainly a sight to behold.

Even if it was simply a sphere with a complex pattern of black and white strips that floated above the city of Tokyo-3, the wonder resided in how it would actually attack or defend itself. At least the other Angels for the most part, had obvious ways of attacking such as tentacles or teeth but this one, like the fifth would be a mystery to NERV until they actually fired on it.

The Operations Director was not dumb. She wasn't going to repeat the disaster that happened on the first sortie against the fifth Angel. This sortie was merely for obtaining information. A reconnaissance mission was all it was and, after they got what they needed, they would retreat to form a plan.

Unit 01 pressed its back into the building as it gripped the pistol in its hands. Misato issued the order for him to fire on the Angel from a safe distance and then take cover.

Spinning away from the building like it was the Angel itself, Unit 01 took aim at the Angel and fired two rounds before returning to its original position behind the building.

Misato was about to compliment Shinji until warnings started to appear all over the main screen in Central Dogma.

With that it started.

"Pattern Blue detected! Angel confirmed… under Unit 01!" Maya yelled as everyone's eyes snapped up towards the main screen where the massive Evangelion started to slowly sink.

Chaos was the only way to describe it as the normally controlled atmosphere of the command center was lost. People were yelling to each other and orders were issued but everyone was still in the thin state of shock at watching Unit 01 being compromised.

Unit 01 had been in various situations where it seemed like victory wasn't an option but those times were sudden. It was always that split second where it would take a hit and then suddenly recover but this wasn't something that was fast or that the Evangelion could recover from.

Unlike the other situations, this was painfully slow.

Shinji forced Unit 01 to fire into the inky darkness that was slowly taking him in but to no avail. Discarding the pistol, Shinji gripped the controls tighter as he started to think of something… anything that could better his situation.

Any form of thought that he could muster was broken by the sound of Unit 02 running towards him.

Asuka was determined to save him and completely ignored any orders to retreat.

It wasn't that she was indebted to him or even the fact that their last conversation didn't end on a positive note, she was in motion before she realized it and wasn't going to stop now. It didn't matter if she couldn't tell him how she felt. She was going to drag his sorry ass out of that thing.

Unit 02 dropped the axe it held and ran full speed towards Unit 01 fully intending on pulling him out but, the moment she got close enough to him, she felt off.

The crimson Evangelion slid into a building and fought to regain its balance. Asuka was certain it felt like she was pushed and she discovered that was actually what happened as she looked at Unit 01.

The Evangelion stood with its hand still outstretched, lowering the limb as it noticed that it pushed Unit 02 out the way of the rapidly expanding radius of the dark circle.

Shinji… He saved her from the fate that he was about to have.

As Unit 01's legs disappeared in the darkness, a com-link opened with Shinji's nervous but calm face staring directly at her. He smiled despite the situation, "I'm sorry… about pushing you."

She wanted to say that small shit like that didn't matter but, looking at his smile, she just couldn't move her mouth. The fact that he was almost casually apologizing to her while he was sinking to his death only made her more confused.

It wasn't a happy smile at all but it didn't change the fact that he was smiling. Even as Unit 01's waist was taken in by the Angel, Shinji looked at her but she didn't feel the person she was looking at was the same person she just screamed at not to long ago.

"And… I didn't get a chance to say it earlier but," He paused, "I like you too."

That confirmed the fact that the boy on the com-link was Shinji but the fire of determination in his eyes told her that it wasn't a goodbye. Hopeful, no, knowing that those couldn't be his last words, Asuka watched Shinji fall completely into the darkness.

"Unit… Unit 01 is lost."

0

Asuka leaned on the railing of the catwalk and looked up at her Evangelion but she couldn't hide the hurt on her face as she looked upon her most prized possession.

The fact that Rei and her were on stand-by barely registered in her mind.

All she could think about was the push she received from Unit 01.

It wasn't a mean, forceful push but a slight one with just enough power to throw Unit 02 off balance. He may have saved her life with that simple act but it only served to make her feel worse. Compounding the push with the fact that she said all those things to him made her feel like some kind of monsterwhen he pushed her away.

She sighed as the green orbs of Unit 02 watched her, "I deserved it." She admitted, openly accepting the fact that he could have possibly pushed her away in more ways than one.

What really hurt though was the truth. Shinji could probably be dead and what she said could probably be the last words he heard from her. Even if he wasn't dead, he was going to be…

The UN was going to use the last of the N2 mines and drop them into what Ritsuko called the Sea of Dirac. This would be the first Angel that NERV actually needed direct help defeating for real.

"We must go." Rei said, her voice echoing despite its soft tone.

It was time for girls to take their positions before the bombs drop. While the logic of behind being deployed escaped the pilot of Unit 00 seeing that they could neither defend or attack, she would at least be able to see what happened with her own eyes.

"I thought you liked him First." Asuka said, her eyes still on Unit 02.

"I do," Rei voiced quicker than Asuka thought she would, "He is my friend."

"Then why!" Asuka yelled as she hit the railing, "Why are you so calm about it!"

"He will… return."

Asuka didn't understand. Wondergirl, who was normally seemed so reserved and cynical, had hope or probably even believed that Shinji would make a spectacular return. Hell, if that was the case, he would might as well come back with flowers and candy.

The blue eyed girl herself however didn't believe any of that nonsense. Shinji's confidence? Wondergirl's hope? Bullshit. Shinji was dead this time. All they could do was stand from a safe distance and watch the Angel that took him die.

She briefly considered putting a bullet in the Angel's shadow just to relieve some of her anger but Misato and Ritsuko both made it clear that no action was to be taken. They were being deployed just so NERV could have a role no matter how little it actually was.

One word summed up the situation and how Asuka felt, "Shit..."

0

Terror.

The word itself brought a level of fear into mind that was difficult to even comprehend. It was a feeling that slowly ate away at you until it could fully consume you. The way it hit you could knock down the strongest man but at the same time it covered you like a blanket unable to let you see anything else.

Everyone has encountered something scary, but absolute terror was something completely different. While simple fear could make you jump, terror would send that chill down your spine since you knew ultimately what was going to come.

Asuka wasn't scared of anything but she started to understand why they called it the Absolute Terror Field.

A few minutes ago, the N2 mines were about to be dropped until the black and white ball that was the Angel's shadow suddenly turned black. Thinking that it was about to attack, Unit 00 and Unit 02 were ordered to pull back… until a purple hand shot out of it.

As it fell to the ground, the sphere exploded in morbid fashion. Blood and pieces of the sphere rained down on the city as Unit 01 crashed into the streets below it. Somehow landing on its feet, the blood-covered Evangelion opened its mouth and roared as loud as it could.

Everyone watched as the massive weapon screamed. Theblood continued to rain down on it while it raged like the berserk beast that it was. No one dared speak as the Evangelion's blazing white eyes went black and its arms, once holding pieces of what remained of the twelfth Angel, went limp at its sides.

Even as it stood motionless, it was obvious that the AT field was not to protect Unit 01 but to protect its enemies.

"The… The target is silent." Aoba said breaking the silence that fell in Central Dogma.

The statement seemed to shake everyone out of the shock they fell in and the usual orders were issued to retrieve the pilots as the MAGI stored information from the battle. Misato pulled wiped the sweat off her brow as she prepared to look into Unit 01's entry plug.

"Please be alive…"

Fin

Author's notes: o.o

It ended a little bit weak but I got what I wanted out of this chapter.

Basically, this was another Asuka chapter. I believe it's very important that I show how Asuka really feels since she possibly has more contact with Shinji than anyone else. Also, I got an email asking a few things about the story:

Question: Why are Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke on top of the school instead of the shelter?

Answer: I really met shelter but put school by mistake. o.o

Question: What's up with the Jet Alone incident?

Answer: Didn't see it as being relevant so I skipped it. o.o Same with eleventh Angel. o.o

Question: Damn man, what's up with the breaks?

Answer: QuickEdit is doing me wrong so I'll use 0's as page breaks from now on. o.o

Anyway, this is obviously the beginning of the end for a lot of the cast. ;.;

On to chapter 10!


	10. Chapter 10

"Bye big brother! Bye Hikari!" The young girl happily exclaimed from her hospital bed as her brother and the girl she believed to be his girlfriend left the room while waving to her.

Hikari honestly loved Touji's little sister. Mari was such a cute little girl and was always so excited about life which only made the fact that she was in the hospital so much worse. Like her, the girl was injured when an Angel attack but Hikari got away with a simple scar across her eye whereas his sister was crushed.

Thankfully, it didn't look as bad as it sounded but the bandages around her small frame were always stained with blood. Hikari even remembered hearing that they had to be changed a lot but she had no idea…

"Thanks Hikari…" Touji softly said as the door closed behind them.

"You don't have to say that, you know I like coming to visit her." She said as they walked away from the room.

Every time they came, Touji would express his gratitude but Hikari would smile and wave him off but this time he seemed… empty. Even when they were talking to his sister, she noticed the distant look in his eyes.

"I wanted her to be in a better hospital so…"

The jock stopped abruptly and shook his head. He couldn't tell her.

She already agreed to fake as his girlfriend when they came to see Mari and she still made lunch for him. He didn't want to repay her by telling her that he was going to be in danger.

Had he been so deep in thought over deciding on rather to tell Hikari or not, he would have missed the warm sensation around his hand, "Hikari…?"

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to, but I'm here." She squeezed his hand to further prove her point.

"I'm the Fourth."

"What?"

Touji's hand slid out of hers as he started to walk down the hall, "I'm the Fourth Child."

He looked over his shoulder to find her staring at him with complete shock written across her face, "I'm glad…"

With his back facing her as he walked, the jock said something he wanted to say to her a long time ago, "I'm glad ya stayed."

Lately

To be honest, he was still dead tired. The last few weeks pushed him to the point of exhaustion and he barely escaped the last sortie with his life. Worst of all, he scared Misato to the point of crying and that really wasn't a pleasant experience at all…

To tell the truth, the whole week since then was uncomfortable.

Misato, if she wasn't already, was going out of her way to make him comfortable but it only served to make him feel less at ease. Normally, he was the one to do all the chores but, when he opened his door and found his guardian washing clothes, he thought he was going to faint.

He sighed as he walked. She even went to the point of ordering him not to do anything before she left.

While Misato seemed to be more eager to be around him, Asuka seemed to be even more annoyed by his presence. It wasn't a shock when he discovered she was avoiding him intentionally. Of course, even now he didn't blame her for being mad but going so far as to be late instead of walk with him to school didn't make him feel good.

Even if two of the girls in his life changed to that extent, the other two remained perfectly the same.

Hikari was still the most stable person in his life and still gave him the resolve to see Evangelion through until the very last Angel was dead at Unit 01's feet. Although he didn't see her but only once thanks to his extended stay in the hospital, that was all he needed to remind himself that she was still there… and still with him.

It was still a dream to him. He couldn't even believe that he was in a relationship with her.

They loved each other.

It wasn't lust or just because they needed someone to talk to, it was because they understood how they felt about each other and acted on it. She was the person he shared his secrets and kisses with and he was the person she confided in the most.

Shinji smiled as he walked up the steps, "She loves me…" He reminded himself.

Hikari probably didn't know just how important her love was to him.

The expression on his face gradually turned into a more serious one as he thought about how far he would go to protect not only Hikari but their relationship. It was extremely possible that he would do anything… and even that wasn't his limit.

"Shinji."

He blinked as he got to his destination without realizing it, "Ah! Hello Rei."

The reason he was actually walking was because of the fact that Rei of all people called him. Overlooking the fact that he was supposed to have two more days of rest, he got up and left the apartment in order to see his friend who lived alone.

She nodded at the greeting and moved to allow him into her apartment. Despite that it was exactly the same as it was last time, Shinji smiled seeing that she at least made up the bed but he found his sight resting on her night table where the glasses she treasured were missing.

Pushing away the thoughts of the incident, he stepped inside.

The sight that greeted him was the same when he was outside the door. Her room was still messy but it was just how Rei was. She wasn't that she didn't want to clean it was just that she didn't view it as important.

Looking over the room, he realized that it represented the girl well. Besides the noise outside, the quiet, dark stillness of the apartment matched Rei perfectly. Everything from the bare walls to the half empty glass of water on the night table, it just had Rei's… style all over it.

"Would you like if I prepared some tea?" His friend asked as she motioned towards the small kitchen.

Shinji nodded, "I'll like that."

Even now, the boy remembered how she used to unnerve him. While it was a little strange that she had azure hair and scarlet eyes, it was really her mannerisms that intimidated him. Add that to the fact that she was so focused on Evangelion and the fact that she actually knew his father better then him, he was surely no wonder why he didn't exactly want to be in her company.

It all changed after the fifth Angel attacked.

Shinji continued to stand in front of the bed as memories of Unit 00 shielding him came to mind. It came as a shock not only because she stepped in front of him so quickly but because he actually wanted to be the one to protect her.

As a matter of fact, the reason he first piloted was to protect the blue haired girl.

"Hey Rei," Shinji looked out the only window in the apartment, "Why did you ask me over here?"

The girl in question lifted her head. Setting her task of making tea aside for the moment, she addressed her friend without turning around, "I wanted to ask about… feelings."

A slightly confused Shinji turned towards her, "Feelings?"

"I always suppressed them in the belief that they would be… unnecessary to deal with but," Unconsciously, Rei drew her hand up to her chest and placed her hand over her heart, "I still feel them."

"Ranging from striking pain to warmth without equal, I feel all of them." She moved towards her friend as she spoke, "There have been times when I felt I would never see you again Shinji so I wanted to ask, not in light of the fact that we may not see another day but in the firm belief that understanding these feelings will bring us closer together as friends."

He watched her as she stopped speaking and returned to making the tea. Her pale hands wrapped around the cup and Shinji noticed something that only a friend could notice, "You… You thought about this a lot huh?"

It didn't take the nod for him to know that he was right. Rei was not one to hold off questions that she found to be important but in this case it was obvious that she did put a lot of thought into the subject before asking.

Shinji sat on her bed and tried to think of a way he could honestly answer her, "It's kind of hard to explain…" He admitted.

"Can you share some of your experiences?" Rei suggested instead.

"Um, Hikari told me-"

The First Child cut him off, "I did not ask for her opinion."

"Remember when you slapped me?"

Rei looked up, briefly recalling the look of total disbelief on his face after she hit him because of his lack of respect for the commander, "That… is irrelevant." She said not wanting to talk about it.

Shinji rubbed the back of his neck, 'This isn't getting- I got it!' He thought as an idea came to mind.

"Do you remember when I told you people smiled when their happy?"

"Yes," Rei replied as she brought the cups of tea to the bed and handed one to her friend, "I do."

The memory of having her entry plug opened was one that she liked to think about. The first time it was Commander Ikari who put himself in danger and risked further injury than just the burns on his hands to get her out. The only things that remained behind as proof of the event were the gloves that Gendo wore and the half melted glasses that she placed in the draw.

Even if she was thankful for the act of her guardian, the glasses he left behind could only offer so much as sentimental value but Shinji gave her something more special when he opened her entry plug.

She received his honest and complete concern. Unlike the commander who had a reason to watch over her given the purpose she had, Shinji shed tears in knowing that she was safe and he was also the first to take delight in her smile.

"I never did ask you how you felt back then…" Her friend remarked causing Rei to fall out of her silent reflection.

"No one ever has."

Shinji immediately set his tea aside as he turned to the ruby-eyed girl who stood in front of him. He rubbed his face with his hand, "What kind of friend am I?" He said dryly as he stood.

He opened his mouth and said something to Rei that no one has ever directed to her, "How do you feel Rei?"

The original purpose for inviting him over was lost as the question started to sink into her mind, "I am fine." She said simply, finding her reply the best suited answer.

The warm feeling invoked by being asked such a simple question made her feel much better than fine. The problem was putting how she felt into words. Instead of actually voicing it, she wanted to act on it.

Touch was something that was important to Rei. Although it was as important as her other senses for piloting, touch served as something that was best used outside of battle. For example, with her sense of touch she could feel the texture of Shinji's shirt as she hugged him.

Shinji failed to mask his surprise, "R-Rei?"

Rei closed her eyes. This closeness was something that was shared with friends and she understood why. Long ago, she would have simply viewed it as an intrusion in one's personal space but now it was a celebration of touch.

By observing Hikari and Shinji she learned a lot of things but a hug was one of the things she couldn't fully grasp till now. Seeing that such a small act could bring such joy, Rei decided it was something she wanted to try herself and her friend was the only option for this contact.

She did not regret it.

Shinji, nowrelaxingin easeprovided by thecomfortable silence, placed his arms around her also.

She did not regret it at all.

Before long, her friend broke the silence, "Rei, I promised I'll meet Hikari in about an hour so I should be leaving about now…" He said as he spied a look at his watch.

Rei's eyes slowly opened. A slight envy washed over her at mention of his girlfriend's name. Hikari could enjoy his touch at any time. With thoughts of the girl in mind, Rei lifted her head off Shinji's chest, "She has made you… dangerous." She said referring to Hikari.

He laughed. Rei, despite the fact that she did indeed like the sight and sound of it, didn't appreciate the fact that he did it after she seriously stated a fact, "We are all dangerous." He replied as his laughter died down, "If we weren't dangerous we wouldn't really make good pilots."

It made sense but Rei slightly frowned at the thought of Shinji thinking of her as hazardous.

Any reply that she was about to muster was stopped by the ringing of their cell phones in unison.

0

Unit 00 was grounded.

The imprint of the light blue Evangelion's head on the road was proof of that fact.

Rei was still trying to shake off the daze as Unit 00 attempted to get back on its feet only to find that Unit 03 was firmly holding it down. She fully remembered pulling the trigger twice in rapid succession in hopes of shooting the Angel down but, before she knew it, it was airborne. In a flash, the Angel infested Evangelion appeared above her and drove its foot into the side of Unit 00's head.

Her crimson eyes turned towards the Angel's forearm where parts of it were beginning to drip down onto her Evangelion. She was about to experience the same thing that happened to the Second Child.

Unit 02 was silenced almost the moment after it came into contact with the thirteenth Angel. It disabled her just long enough for some of itself to ooze onto the Evangelion's back and slowly take it over. Before it spread to the entry plug, Commander Ikari issued the order to blow the infected material off.

However, unlike the prototypes, Unit 02 didn't have the ability to simply blow off its back armor.

Asuka's screams were heard by all as it felt like her back literally exploded. So intense was the pain that she passed out with Unit 02's head in the dirt and its spinal column detached. Luckily for her, Unit 03 moved on and, unluckily for Rei, found its next prey.

Rei, with agonizing slowness, watched as the contents of the Angel's forearm got closer and closer to Unit 00.

They wouldn't make it to the Evangelion.

Unit 01 collided with Unit 03 with all the force Shinji could muster. The shoulder compartment broke off and the Evangelions fell in a tangled mess. When the dust cleared, the black Evangelion's forearm was on Unit 01 and the obvious signs of contamination could be seen. Shinji's eyes doubled in size as the nerves in his arm got distorted in such a disgusting way, but he didn't have the time to think about how it looked. He knew his father was going to order it so he could only brace himself for it.

"Detonate the left arm."

Just like that, the charges at Unit 01's shoulder went off and, as far as Shinji was concerned, his arm was gone. The blinding pain that followed was something that couldn't be prepared for. As Shinji reached over with his arm just to verify that it was still there, Unit 03 looked down at him like it was drinking in his agony.

With Unit 01 defeated, the Angel moved back towards the last line of defense.

Shinji turned around to find the unmoving Evangelion not far from him. Rei was still too dazed to get back up and Unit 03 was coming at her again.

As his father issued orders for Rei to get up, Shinji realized something that he knew the moment Unit 03 stepped over his Evangelion.

They were defeated.

Unit 02 was out of commission, Unit 01 was down, and the Angel was heading back towards Unit 00.

Everyone's eyes were stuck to the display as the Angel made its way to its prey. With its mouth hung open like an animal, Unit 03 narrowed its eyes on the Evangelion in front of it.

Rei's mind was not on the Unit 03 or even on escaping from it. Her vermillion eyes were set on the one-armed Evangelion that started to rise from behind her would be killer.

The tension of the situation reached its peak as Unit 03 spun around and launched itself in the air so fast that is seemed like one action taken instead of two. With a distant look in his eyes, Shinji muttered the only thought that numbed the pain in his shoulder, "Can't lose…"

The shoulder apartment on Unit 01 opened with a hiss and the progressive knife fell into a familiar hand as the Evangelion took hold of the weapon. For a few seconds, everything was still as Unit 01 looked up at the Angel that would land on top of him.

Nothing moved.

The red mass on the ground that was the abandoned Unit 02 remained silent and so did its blue counterpart as its single red orb awaited the outcome of the fight.

Everyone in Central Dogma, the Commander included, stared at the display too nervous to say a word. The air stood still as Unit 03 sailed through it and Unit 01 slid its foot forward to brace itself for the impact that was certain to come.

They met in a collision that could be heard miles away.

The shoulder that was roaring in pain not to long ago fell into place in the Angel's chest and the only reaction from Shinji was a slight grimace. Not because it hurt, but because the Angel still managed to get its hand around Unit 01's neck.

Swiftly moving before the Angel could tighten its grasp, Unit 01 applied the vibrating knife to the armor of the Evangelion and a satisfying screech echoed as the knife started to cut away at the chest plate. Sparks flew as Shinji forced the knife deeper into the Angel.

The blood that splattered on Unit 01's face didn't deter in the least.

Howling in pain, Unit 03 released the hold and its unusually long arms returned to its side as it retreated. The roles of the hunter and hunted were changed when the purple Evangelion dropped the progressive knife and caught the Angel by one of its hands.

Using the momentum built by it running away, Shinji forced Unit 01 to pull the Angel back. Rippingan arm off in the process, Unit 01 threw the useless appendage away and drew its fist back to strike Unit 03.

Losing the arm advantage it used to have, Unit 03 raised its hand to stop the punch that was coming. Unit 01's hand plowed past the hand and hit the Angel directly in the face. With blood flowing out of the wound that used to be its arm, the Angel crashed into the hillside.

"Protect… her."

With his words being a prologue to the agony the Angel was surely going to feel, Unit 01 smashed its fist into the Evangelion's head.

It exploded under the intense force of the punch andthe contents flew everywhere.

"Her…"

Shinji forced the machine he piloted to continue with its utter annihilation of the being known as the thirteenth Angel.

Unit 01 used it lone hand to pull off the chest armor that he all but already cut in half. More blood sprouted out as the armor finally gave in to the pressure and was tossed aside.

"Hikari…"

In a daze brought on by the thought of losing her, Shinji forced Unit 01 until he came to the core of the monster. As Unit 03 twitched, the Evangelion that defeated it raised its fist to deal another blow.

The core shattered the instant Unit 01's knuckles met it and Unit 03 stopped moving all together. Still, Shinji continued, his mind not content with the destruction that he already dealt.

No one.

No one said anything.

No one said anything or even attempted to stop him when Unit 01's hand came to rest on the fractured entry plug.

"Hikari…"

With a sickening crunch, the already broken entry plug was shattered.

Unmoved by the events that took place before him, the commander was the first to take action. Carefully observing the bio-machine that his son piloted, Gendo issued an order, "Rei, restrain the Unit 01."

Unit 00 slowly got back up as the commander added to his order, "By any means necessary."

Opting to take the easiest solution, Rei opened a com-link. Her friend was clearly still in a daze as he continued to mutter the name of their classmate. This fact suddenly reminded her that he just killed another of their classmates but thoughts of that matter would have to be saved for later.

"Shinji…" She said softly rousing him from his daze.

"Rei…" He nervously replied as the distant look in his eyes turned into a confused one, "Did… I-"

His eyes just happened to move towards the sight of what was in his hand.

"No…" He muttered as he saw Unit 03 printed in giant bold letters on top of one of the large pieces of white metal in his hand.

Examining the remains of the entry plug further, he could have sworn he saw someone. With a terrified gulp, Shinji's hand shook as he increased the magnification.

His eyes widen in realization…

He screamed.

0

Shinji got out of Nerv as fast as possible.

This time he didn't get any praise or slaps on the back. This time he didn't get any comforting smiles or supporting nods. All he got from the various people around the complex was silence.

Not at all the understanding silence of Rei's apartment or the reassuring silence of Hikari's house, the silence that fell as he walked out was one that was out of fear.

"Even Rei…" He whispered as he pushed open the door. Even if it wasn't to the extent of the technicians, he could see it in her eyes as she attempted to speak to him.

He didn't blame anyone at all though. He brought it upon himself.

Hikari put the book she reading aside, "Shinji?"

Her boyfriend all but fell into her arms.

Almost knocking her and the chair she was sitting in onto the floor, Shinji fought to regain his composure. Hikari was the only one he could talk to. She was the only one that he could share these feelings with.

She was the only one he had to tell.

"I… did it," He said, his voice cracking, "Hikari, I'm so sorry."

The interest she had in the book gave way to her concern. Wrapping her arms around the boy, Hikari positioned herself so that his head was against her chest, "What's wrong?"

For a moment, he was against letting her know. He was already hurt… but did he have to hurt her?

"Hikari…"

"Shinji," Hikari shifted in the seat, "Let's go to my room."

The fact that she was uncomfortable finally set in and Shinji was off of her almost instantly. Hikari smiled despite the promise of the bad news Shinji had, "Come on…" She whispered as she took his hand in hers.

It didn't long for her to get up and, before Shinji knew it, she was leading him down the hall. Taking a look at their joined hands, Shinji felt that he had to tell her now or it was possible he wouldn't have to heart to do it later.

"I… I killed him."

She stopped only a few feet from the bedroom door, "What?"

"Touji," he continued as he felt her hand release his, "I killed him."

He risked a look at her face and saw the definition of shock. Her eyes were wide and her mouth moved in an attempt to say something but no words came forth. Shaking, she brought her hand up to cover her mouth.

"Misato and Asuka were hurt… and it was about to hurt Rei," He paused as he couldn't manage to look at her, "I… I had to do it."

To her credit, Hikari fell into him in a similar fashion as he did into her but he couldn't embrace her without knowing one thing.

"Do… Do you hate me?"

Again, her mouth moved but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. Instead she could only take action albeit if it wasn't what Shinji expected.

Hikari slapped him.

Hard.

It was not the first time anyone hit him but it hurt way more than it should have. That slapped went way deeper than the sting it left on his cheek. It was more than just a hit… it was an act that marked the first low of their relationship.

Hikari lowered her hand as her eyes took the coldest edge he had ever seen, "Is that what you want Shinji? Do you want me to hate you?" She barked out in rage.

"I didn't-"

She cut him off as she continued her barrage, "I wanted to Shinji… I swear I wanted to hate you the day I woke up in the hospital." She admitted.

"I couldn't… every time I saw you I knew I couldn't hate you." She said as her voice gradually got softer, "I don't hate you at all."

Her hand came into contact with his and she formed a tighter grip on his hand, "At all…"

"Shinji… Touji was one of my best friends. I feel like crying but that wouldn't make him come back." She leaned into him, "I… I can only keep smiling because I know that he wouldn't want anyone to cry for him."

"Hikari," Shinji felt his eyes starting to dampen, "I love you."

With Touji on her mind and Shinji in her heart, the girl smiled, "I love-"

Something happened that wasn't supposed to happen. Both of the children wanted to ignore it, but it was impossible giving the blaring sound that signaled something Shinji didn't expect for at least another month or two.

The Angel alarm and the vibrating cell phone in his pocket were proof enough that his prediction was very wrong. No matter how many times he told himself it couldn't be true, Shinji came to the realization that it was as he reached in his pocket to answer the phone.

Even if he was relieved to hear Misato's voice on the other end, she carefully told him that his fears were well placed.

The fourteenth Angel has been sighted.

Shinji stuffed the cell phone back into his pocket and made his way to the door.

"You," Hikari squeezed the hand that was still locked around his, "You don't have to go…"

They both knew that he had to. Even if he didn't want to at all, he was still going to.

It was his turn to move away as she let go and watched him move towards the front door. He came to a halt before he walked out, "You know… Rei said I was dangerous today."

Caught off guard, Hikari could only nod and wait for him to go on.

"I didn't really take it serious until… what happened."

"But," He looked over his shoulder at the girl who stood behind him, "I really am…"

He turned back to the door, "I don't care though," He turned back to thedoor,"As long as I can protect you... I don't care what I become."

"Shinji…"

"Hey Hikari," he laughed nervously as he changed the subject, "You should probably start locking the door."

With that, he ran out to face the greatest challenge that any of the Angels put up thus far and left his girlfriend pondering not only about what he said but also about a friend she would never see again.

Fin

Author's notes: Ending was a little weak again. I think I'll fix that up in the chapters to come. School is getting hetic so I mightnot be able update in a while.

The 13th Angel put not only Touji out of commission but also injured Asuka and Unit 01 and took Unit 01's arm. With the pilots at such a clear disadvantage, how will they manage against the 14th?

What is the extent of Asuka's injuries?

What will happen to Rei as she attempts to fight the Angel alone?

More importantly, exactly how tired is Shinji?

Chibi Fenrir


	11. Chapter 11

As he drifted through the darkness, the thoughts of what happened started to come to mind but, still, he made no motion to even move. He was too tired to act as he simply floated deeper into nothingness.

Rei… He didn't even know if she was still alive. On the way to Nerv, Unit 00's head sailed through the air above him and landed somewhere in the city.

He failed her.

Shinji opened his eyes and discovered the darkness was still around him.

It wasn't so much the fact that he didn't get there in time, it was the fact that he didn't know. He didn't know if she survived, he didn't know if he defeated the Angel, he didn't know what happened, and he especially didn't know where he was.

"He told me not to worry about it…" Shinji muttered as he continued to sail around aimlessly.

In spite of his situation, he couldn't help but remember Kaji's carefree smile as he watered the watermelons he grew in the GeoFront. With Rei's fight versus the Angel as a backdrop to their brief conversation, the man all but casually told him that if he failed to stop the Angel that the Third Impact would occur.

His smile was calming…

Like the darkness that surrounded him Shinji noted.

"Shinji…"

He didn't want to move but he did anyway. The pilot's eyes fell on the lonely darkness before him. As his name echoed out of the dark, Shinji continued to focus on it.

"Shinji…" The unmistakable sound of his name came from the darkness again.

Something shot out of the darkness and wrapped around his wrist. Any thoughts he had concerning any events besides the present one disappeared as he noticed it was a human hand holding his arm.

"Shinji…" The figure groaned as it came into his field of vision.

"Get… away…" Shinji cried as it grabbed his other arm and pulled him closer, "No! Stop!"

"Shinji!" It yelled as it continued to pull him even closer.

As he struggled to release himself, he caught a glimpse of what was supposed to be its face and he screamed as loud as he possibly could.

Lately

"It's been about three weeks now."

Misato deposited another washed dish in the drainer as she spoke to herself.

Thankfully, for her and the rest of world, no Angels attacked since the fourteenth but that didn't mean things were exactly going well.

The Evangelions were almost out of order as far as she was concerned. From the missing arms to cracked armor plates, all of the Units had damage dealt to them. They made progress with Unit 00 but it would still take time for the right arm and neck to heal.

As the Operations Director put the cloth to the plate and started to scrub, her mind wandered to the subject of the first child.

Rei was fairing well against the Angel until they discovered the paper thin folds at its sides were actually one of its weapons. Unit 00 barely avoided losing both arms as it ducked and charged forward with the rocket launcher it held. Misato sighed as she remembered that the weapon dealt no damage at all.

Weaponless, Misato ordered Rei to use the progressive knife. Before she could even reach for it, the shoulder compartment was gone along with an arm. It wasn't long afterwards that Unit 00's head fell.

"She was waiting for orders…." The raven-haired woman recalled.

The doorbell rung and she dried her hands. Answering the door, she wasn't surprised to find a returning guest.

Hikari looked up at the Major, "Hello Miss Katsuragi."

Misato grinned as the girl stood outside the apartment, "What are you waiting for? Come on in." She said cheerfully as she made way for the girl to enter the apartment.

"Oh you were cleaning up?" The young girl noticed as Misato ushered her into the apartment, "Want me to help?"

Misato considered her offer for a moment. While she wasn't exactly all that lazy, it would just be wrong to have a guest cleaning the house for her and, besides, she owed it to Shinji to clean up in his absence.

Upon allowing her charge to enter her thoughts, she took a closer look at his girlfriend.

Hikari stood in front of her with a blank expression. The single brown eye that stared back at her held so many questions but her lips were sealed together in an impressive show of self control.

They both knew that she didn't come to help clean up.

"Hikari, are you okay?"

"Yea," Hikari walked deeper into the apartment, "I'm alright."

Misato decided she would return to washing the dishes later. She watched Hikari sit down on the couch and she then went into the kitchen. As she opened the refrigerator in order to get a beer, Hikari sat back in the couch and patiently waited for Shinji's guardian to return.

The brown-haired girl played with her hair as she pondered the true answer to Misato's question. While she didn't lie in her reply, she didn't tell the whole truth. Of course she felt find but it was the people around her she was worried about.

Still, she returned to ask the question she couldn't when she first visited.

The footsteps behind her informed her of Misato's presence. With her resolve wavering, Hikari asked before she lost her determination to know the truth, "Miss Katsuragi, what happened to Shinji?"

"Good thing you asked because I was going to tell you anyway," Misato declared as she pulled the tab off the can of beer, "and call me Misato."

"Is it bad?"

Misato's smile was replaced by the serious expression she wore at NERV. Her brown eyes recalled the sight of Unit 01 wrapped in bandages and a frown started to form on her face, "Shinji is trapped in Unit 01." She finally admitted.

It was classified information but she had a responsibility to tell her what happened to Shinji.

"We don't know if we can get him out…" She continued as she eyed the girl's back.

The Major noticed how Hikari's shoulders slumped when she received the information but she made no mention of this as the girl stood up. Hikari turned to Misato with the same blank expression she had before, "Are they still trying?" She asked as her voice nearly broke in fear of the answer.

"Of course!" Misato quickly exclaimed, "We aren't giving up on him!"

A sign of relief escaped from Hikari and her expression became brighter. Asking Misato about Shinji wasn't as hard as she thought it was going to be. Since Rei only provided cryptic replies when she did answer any of her questions, Hikari long ago decided that the only way she was going to receive any information on Shinji's condition was by his guardian or Asuka.

"I'm… I'm going to see Asuka now," Hikari mentioned as she remembered the redhead, "I'll drop Shinji's printouts by tomorrow."

"Hikari, we are going to get him back," Misato placed the beer on the table, "Don't worry too much about it and… thanks for seeing about Asuka."

She had wanted to go visit Asuka herself but, given how she was behaving when she did go to see her, she didn't seem to want anyone to come.

As she walked out of the door and waved goodbye, Hikari felt slightly uneasy at the thought of seeing an agitated Asuka. Even if she didn't particularly like her, Hikari knew how important it was to have visitors.

Besides, it was something Shinji would do.

0

Rei found things to not be relevant towards her mission, but, unlike many suspected, that didn't mean she didn't find any value in them. As a matter of fact, it was often the most mundane objects that she treasured the most.

The dinner she shared with commander every month was something to hold dear. While the significance of the event paled in comparison to the melted glasses she owed or Shinji's friendship, it was still very important to her even if it barely had anything to do with piloting.

Gendo maintained the silence with practiced ease as they ate across the table from each other. The clang of his fork meeting the plate drew Rei's attention to him, "Rei, what is the status of the Third Child's relationship with his classmate?"

Rei slowly placed her utensil down, "They are maintaining an active relationship."

"At the moment." Gendo corrected.

His words instantly reminded her of the concerned look on Hikari's face when she asked about Shinji's condition. Although she felt compelled to share what information she did know, that didn't mean that it would be right to release anything classified.

But, in thinking of Hikari, she was reminded of a fact.

She did not like Hikari.

"Miss Horaki is taking his absence… well." Rei mentioned, knowing the Commander was already fully aware of Shinji's condition.

With his face devoid of any emotion, Gendo returned to his food, "I see."

As the soft sounds of the Commander eating returned to her ears, Rei couldn't help but think more about her dislike of Hikari.

'It's because she is a burden to him.' She thought as she picked her fork back up.

It was the truth, but it wasn't the whole truth.

Rei was never one to tell lies to anyone especially herself and she knew exactly what it was about Hikari's relationship with her friend that bothered her. Hikari's presence affected Shinji… and that affected her indirectly.

It was because of that fact that she had so many questions that couldn't be answered.

Was it because of her that Shinji became her friend?

Was the change in his personality good or bad?

If Hikari was not in his life… would she be the one most familiar with him?

"Rei," The commander's low voice broke up her thoughts, "Are you finished?"

She blinked, "No sir."

As she used the fork to place more of the salad in her mouth, she was certain of two things.

Even though she never experienced the feeling before, she was fairly certain that she was envious of Hikari. Her relationship with her friend was more intimate. It was something that was held strictly between the two of them and no one else, but his friendship was something that she was forced to share with others.

Rei did not like Hikari not only because of her affect on Shinji, but because she had the closeness with him that she desired for herself. It was a selfish thought, but was it wrong to desire comfort when it could be easily provided?

Her body started to feel warm as she remembered when she hugged Shinji.

As she chewed the salad the commander brought her, the second thing she noticed came to mind.

Shinji's salad tasted better.

0

Hikari stood in front of the opened door and briefly considered walking away.

For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why she even wanted to see Asuka.

Of course it was something Shinji would do, but it didn't mean that she had to go and see someone who obviously didn't like her at all.

"He could come when he gets back…" She whispered as she started to turn away, "Besides, seeing me would just agitate her more."

She walked away and would have kept walking until she remembered that it was possible that no one took the time to go and see Asuka.

Considering how good it felt to be visited by friends and receive calls from family, Hikari knew that it could really hurt to be completely alone.

Sighing, Hikari turned around and walked into the room before she really decided to leave. She wasn't going to let something as petty as how she felt about Asuka stop her from keeping the girl company even if she didn't want it.

It wasn't long until her eyes met the sight of Asuka peacefully lying down in the hospital bed. Her rich golden red hair rested on top of the pillow as her eyes stared at the ceiling like she was waiting for something to fall. With the dim light provided by the setting sunlight that filtered through the window blinds, Hikari couldn't make out the expression on her face but, in not wanting to break the calm mood of the room, she kept standing in the same spot.

Seeing Asuka look so at peace made her fell somewhat guilty for attempting to leave but it also worried since it was out of character for the redhead to be so still. It was almost to the point where she would rather leave than shatter the serene aura that filled the room.

"What do you want?" The sudden, shrill voice of Asuka called out.

"I came to see how you were doing." Hikari said as she moved closer to the side of the bed.

The pause Asuka took in responding seemed to be a sign that she would be ignored but Hikari continued unbothered by the lack of a reply, "I heard that you were hurt and…"

"I don't want to see you."

"Why?"

The tension that arose quickly dismantled the calm nature that the room once had. Asuka sat up in the bed and turned to her first and only visitor.

"Because I hate you."

The whisper with which she said the statement contained so much malice that Hikari swore the next thing Asuka was going to do was strangle her. It didn't matter if it was yelled, whispered, or casually said. The sentence itself was a small declaration of Asuka's feelings and it perfectly summed how she viewed Shinji's girlfriend.

Hikari didn't flinch, "That… That doesn't bother me."

"I don't care."

"Okay…"

The conversation ended but both girls continued to stare at each other. Hikari's soft brown eye met Asuka's crystal blue.

The second hand of the clock on the wall clicked with each move but the girls remained still as they stared each other down. It wasn't a game to neither of them. It was something far more intricate than a staring competition.

They were exchanging something that couldn't be said verbally.

Hikari could tell by Asuka's body language that she wasn't bluffing in the least. Her weary, half closed eyes and slight frown told her that she was waiting on her to say the wrong thing.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

She said the wrong thing.

"You know why."

"Shinji is-"

"He's what?" Asuka exploded, "Your boyfriend? Fan-fucking-tastic!"

"The most important person to me…" Hikari finished.

"What if he is the most important person to me? Huh? What if he is my best friend!"

"What is stopping him from being your best friend?"

"You!" Asuka yelled.

Hikari expected that but that didn't mean she was prepared for it. It was obvious that the time Shinji was spending with her was time he wasn't spending with Asuka but that was okay since she was his girlfriend.

It was only right that she, the person closest to him, spent the most time with him. Still, she knew that Shinji didn't belong to her. He had friends and he had responsibilities just like other people even if his were more extreme than most.

"You're taking him from me!" Asuka voiced as she continued to look the girl she hated in the eye.

She was right, but Hikari had to still make a point clear, "He was never yours!"

Again, the uncomfortable silence fell on the room.

With the original reason for her visit being lost in the chaos that was their brief discussion, Hikari turned her eyesight towards the floor, "I'm sorry… for saying that." She said softly, honestly feeling bad for yelling.

"I heard from the doctor before I came to the room," Hikari looked back up as what he told her came to mind, "He… He said you can't walk."

Asuka clenched the sheets, "So?"

Hikari sighed, "I'm trying to help Asuka… What do you want me to do?"

"Leave me alone."

The freckled girl slowly inhaled and exhaled as she decided to try one more time, "Asuka…."

She trailed off as the redhead abruptly lay back down and turned her back towards her.

Had anyone told the once proud Hikari Horaki that she couldn't make a friend of someone, she would have immediately tried to prove him or her wrong but, now, she wasn't the same person she once was.

Staring at the back of her classmate caused Hikari to accept something that she knew for a long time.

They would never be friends.

She could try as hard as she possibly could but her work would mean nothing if Asuka didn't at least put up equal effort to become friends with her.

'It's understandable though,' Hikari rationalized as she moved away from the hospital bed, 'I guess I would act the same way if I was in the same situation.'

'I… I just wouldn't be so mean about it.'

Looking over her shoulder, she noticed that the peaceful feeling the room once encompassed was indeed shattered. More importantly, Asuka looked different than she was when she entered the room.

The girl who was sitting up in the bed not to long ago now was lying with her head under a pillow as she ignored her first visitor. Still, she couldn't bring herself to hate Asuka.

Just like many of the new students she used to deal with, Asuka was only looking for friends. All she wanted was people who could identify with her. Unintentionally of course, Hikari little by little took that away from her.

Was that a reason to be hated? It wasn't Hikari's fault though… It was because of her lack of resolve and she couldn't blame anyone but herself for that.

Despite what she said, it hurt to know that someone detested you. To know that someone didn't like her was enough to hurt her feelings but the intense hatred was something on a completely different level.

Idly, her sight went down Asuka's back to her legs that didn't move at all and, suddenly, a flood of both guilt and pity washed over her.

The girl, a pilot that fought for everyone, was bedridden in front of her and she was worried about her relationship. Overlooking such a devastating dilemma to deal with her personal problem was one thing Hikari just couldn't do.

Obviously not being able to provide the comfort that a friend could, the brown-haired girl did the best she could do for the paralyzed pilot.

"Hate me then." Hikari opened the door, "Hate me if it makes you feel better." She whispered loud enough for the girl to hear.

When no response came she stepped out of the room and didn't look back.

Making her exit, Hikari couldn't help but think of Shinji as her mind got off the subject of Asuka, "I hope you come back soon…" She prayed as she decided to pay a visit to Touji's sister before leaving.

She hung to the belief that he would come but, as the hours turned into days and the days into weeks, the hope in her heart started to fade. It was during this time that she seriously began to think of what Misato said.

His guardian only promised that she wouldn't stop trying, but that wasn't a guarantee that he would come back.

Of course, she was independent and didn't need anyone to survive on her own but a life without Shinji was not a life she wanted.

At the current time, Hikari didn't notice or she probably did but refused to accept it but a fact was a fact.

This was the loneliest she ever felt.

Fin

Author's Notes: Hardest chapter to right mainly because this and chapter afterwards were the only two I didn't plan out well. I hope I got my idea of Hikari's kindness down in this chapter. While a normal person would simply offer kind words seeing that they wouldn't be able to help physically, Asuka and Hikari's relationship was not one based on friendship. So, in a display of her kindness, I decided to write Hikari practically asking Asuka to hate her if it will make her feel better.

Kind of sappy huh? ; Like I said these two chapters are the hardest for me to write.

Nevertheless, to the next chapter.


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